


Naked On Your Chain (James/Sirius, Sirius/Remus)

by though



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter - Marauders, Harry Potter - Marauders era, Marauders - Fandom, Marauders Era - Fandom
Genre: Adult Content, Anger, Angst, BL, Best Friends, Bi, Bi-curious, Bisexual, Bisexual Male Character, Bonding, Boys Love - Freeform, Boys' Love, Bromance, Caring, Comfort, Erotic, Erotica, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fantasy, Feels, Fiction, Firsts, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Gay, Graphic, Graphic Sex, Guy on Guy, Hardcore, Harry Potter - Freeform, Heartache, Homosexual, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, In Love, Infatuation, Kink, Kinks, Kinky, Kissing, Love, Lovers, M/M, Magic, Magical, Magical Boy, Male - Freeform, Male Slash, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders era, Marauders' Era, Men - Freeform, MxM - Freeform, Nudity, Plot, Porn, Porn With Plot, Possessiveness, Protectiveness, Regret, Relationship(s), Romance, Sad, Science Fiction, Sex, Sexual, Sexual Content, Sexy, Shameless Smut, Shonen Ai, Shonen-ai, Shounen ai, Shounen-ai, ShounenAi, ShônenAi, Slash, Slash Fiction, Slashfic, Smut, Soulmates, Tension, Topping, UST, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Yaoi, adult, best mates, besties, boy - Freeform, boy on boy, boys, explicit - Freeform, explicit content, friends - Freeform, h/c, homoerotic, insertion, kiss, loving, m/m - Freeform, males, man, nude, porn with a plot, relationship, secret, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-08 20:12:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11653890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/though/pseuds/though
Summary: JAMES POTTER X SIRIUS BLACKSIRIUS BLACK X REMUS LUPIN*  *  *"You wanna fuck Padfoot?" James asked, and Remus nearly knocked his cauldron off its base."What...?"James shrugged; "Sounds like you do."This is a very dirty story, and maybe a tiny bit dark as well; a rumor about Sirius and James has Remus jealous despite himself.Rated for explicit M/M sex.





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius Black was the type of bloke who would try anything once.

Well— not _anything_ , really, because _anything_ included the kind of idiotic bollocks every proper Black got up to— and, where his family was concerned, he'd rather try the deliberate opposite of _anything_ , just to see his mother yell and shout. Trying the opposite of _anything_ became sort of his thing, which may be why he'd got along so well with a certain James Potter, long-established partner in crime and self-proclaimed Chaser Extraordinaire.

They snuck out past curfew to cast _colloportus_ on all classroom doors. They cast _confundo_ on Professor Binns during one particularly dull lecture in history of magic. One could say they only ever really excelled at spells they learned when there was opportunity to use those spells for mischief.

"I was _trying_ to understand what he said about the goblin uprising of 1744," Remus Lupin sighed when the spell part-worked and part didn't so much, leaving Binns curiously awakened from his own numbing drone when he realized for once that he'd lost his place in the text he was orating.

"No you weren't," James snickered under his breath, and Sirius commended him on a job well done even if Binns got back to his proper place in the lesson soon after that; even good boy Remus Lupin would have to appreciate the rare diversion from this usually exasperatingly dull class. And, secretly, Remus did, and sometimes he couldn't help snickering visibly to himself at the various shenanigans his best mates pulled—while he would reprimand them with a serious look in his eyes, he'd nevertheless join in when they got together on the ratty couch at Gryffindor commons, the two exchanging knowing glances that by then he had known well before he'd finally ask them impatiently what it was they had up their sleeve now.

Sirius would look around cleverly, already stifling a grin as he inspected the room to be sure no one was listening in before beginning to relay in hushed tones what he and James had planned, and there also was Peter who'd listen in straight away, impressed and all too vastly amused by whatever it was the two had to say.

"You lot are terrible," Remus would laugh, but the words came in a way that meant unmistakably that he too was amused, and he too wanted in, even if he tried inwardly to tell himself that he really ought not to. Timid and mild-mannered, he was quite self-conscious after all about his _furry little problem_ , and after compassionate efforts on part of their headmaster to keep his secret just that as to allow him to study at Hogwarts, Remus felt an inward obligation to work his hardest to do well.

Truth was, he really loved his friends. James and Sirius were almost hurt when they found he had a secret that he kept away from them, but reasoned that if he was gonna spend one day each month hanging out as a werewolf, then they'd just have to figure out some way to hang out with him properly. The animagus transformation, then, was probably their most extravagant example of working hard to learn magic purely for the sake of mischief.

Remus put on a very serious face when a stag, a rat, and a very big dog showed up excitedly to pay him a visit at the Shrieking Shack one evening before his transformation occurred, and proceeded with a combination of fascination and rage to lecture them on how they'd somehow managed to outdo themselves as far as reckless and irresponsible acts of utter idiocy were concerned—

But even as he waved his finger around and muttered and raged, there were tears glittering hot in his eyes, and he wiped at them stupidly as the words went incoherent and gradually lost, " _You daft lot of…of…_ " he murmured as he laughed despite himself, struggling to appear like he was still mad as he plopped down on the creaking old mattress, and the great shaggy dog galloped toward him, front paws going on his knees as he reached up to lap at the side of his face.

"Idiot," Remus said with gentle affection, laughing as he sniffled and wiped with embarrassment at his own eyes, and soon the rat and the stag joined in.

Being a large scruffy dog was a great way of picking up ladies, Remus would mutter irritably at both Sirius and James when self-proclaimed Chaser Extraordinaire stepped out swaggering unto the lawn one sunny Saturday with a giant black dog on a leash, it was risky and stupid and _did the lot of them realize the kind of trouble they'd get themselves in if anyone found out they'd learned this sort of spell completely without regulations—_

It was exactly, of course, the sort of thing those two would do, and it wasn't beneath Sirius, either, to trot up to the ladies and nuzzle his face all over parts of them they'd absolutely slap him for if he was in proper human form. _Show-off_ , James would murmur under his breath, though he got plenty of attention as well, when they'd laugh and pet his dog and start chatting with him after that.

 _He's called Padfoot_ , James told them, _Mister Padfoot_ , though Mister Padfoot hardly had trouble getting the ladies' attention in proper human form as well. He was all too aware of his own good looks, but he wasn't so much arrogant as he liked to tease and torment James, they had a little contest of sorts, the two of them did. At that age, anything relating to sex seemed very adult and scandalous and taboo, and it was all you ever thought about and what you snickered about knowingly as though the mere fact you had something to say would suggest you were very adult and mature and advanced.

James and Sirius had an unspoken contest between them, which later went from unspoken to spoken outright and rubbed nearly constantly in each other's face, about just how far each of them had successfully gone and who would get to what base first.

"That's cheating, you're cheating…!" James exclaimed indignantly when one day Sirius announced broadly but without any words that he'd successfully managed second base, and the reason it was cheating was because Sirius got up to it with both girls and blokes, and it was a lot easier when you had double the playing field.

"How is that cheating?" Sirius laughed, plopping down on his bed like a king, because James' reaction had all but confirmed that here Mister Padfoot was farther ahead. This made James really vastly concerned of course, because truth was that for some time now he had fancied one particular bird, and he was no closer to even first base with her than Slytherin house was to winning the next quidditch match.

Lily Evans was in love with him, of course. She just needed a dashing chaser's help to realize and better understand her feelings.

Being not only dashing and charming, but also quite generous and willing to help, James thought he'd be more than happy to offer assistance in this regard; he invested himself tirelessly in his failing endeavor, and certainly made his offer of kindness quite clear during supper— or charms class, or partway through a quidditch game, or at any other time— to his friends' combined fascination and horror.

"He is such a _tit_ ," Sirius laughed over his breakfast some time before class, he watched while, down near the end of the Gryffindor table, James _accidentally_ dropped his glasses just behind the spot where Lily sat; he then went on to pick them up and rose to his full height with an exaggerated show of astonishment.

"Oh, good morning, Evans…!" he said with feigned surprise; he attempted somehow to flex what muscles he had from beneath the hopelessly obscuring drape of his robes, while Lily heaved a sigh of annoyance. Just how many days in a row a guy could pretend to drop his glasses behind you at breakfast before he realized how obvious he was...?

 _She wants me_ , James mouthed to Sirius from the other end of the table; he now pointed both fingers down at Lily while he remained standing behind her. After that, he winked at gave his friends a thumbs-up, and finally proceeded to turn around and swagger back toward them; _That ought to set him straight_ , he thought in regard to Sirius, and assured himself he'd be ahead in the race in no time.

"Nicely done, mate," Sirius laughed when James sat at his side; "she seems clearly smitten."

"Clearly."

James turned his head sideward while he buttered his roll, flashing Evans his thousand-Watt smile from the end of the table and winking with his best boyish charm.

"Yeah, hurry up and eat," Remus said, though he too couldn't help grinning; "we haven't got much longer before potions."

_(On to Chapter 2)  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha! Regardless of the date on the fic ^^ ) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^
> 
> A/N: This is a story I had originally written quite some years ago, but which I haven't posted on this site until now.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius and James weren't really the kind of guys who had to revise for stuff; they were just _good at everything_ , and it seemed they really had the time to spare for wreaking havoc, to the vast delight of most other students. They'd put their feet up on the tables in potions if they could, it certainly would make for an interesting lesson for once. Not everyone had it so easy, though; if the two of them could excel at subjects without much effort put in preparation, Peter Pettigrew was the kind of guy who could spend all night revising and never remember a thing.

He got nervous in front of a crowd. Whatever bits and pieces he'd managed to scramble from memory would vanish if ever he was put on the spot in lecture and a professor had screwed his gaze down on him, and any chance he'd had to save himself was gone along with any trace of confidence when said professor's gaze would turn to the disappointment he'd got so used to seeing, _oh no, Pettigrew, of course we mustn't expect you to know_.

It was even worse when a teacher had shown him compassion and tried asking him something different instead, hoping to give him a question he'd actually know, only to cause him more profound embarrassment when he'd freeze up at the rest of them, too.

"Are you daft?" James would snicker, "He just lectured on this five minutes ago," and Peter tried laughing at himself in response, having actually listened and even scribbled down notes, now recognizing the very subject he was asked in his own scroll of parchment.

Hogwarts was a breeding ground for gossip sometimes, news traveled faster and became more grotesquely alluring with each new pass along— and while decent blokes like Remus Lupin fought to keep their lips sealed, they'd heard it all just the same. There were malicious things said about even the kindest of teachers, and rumors about students' parents if they were poor, and much speculation on whether or not Sirius Black had already _done it._

" _I'll bet that he had_ ," there came a hushed female voice from somewhere behind Remus as he walked down the hall toward transfiguration, and he found himself walking more slowly, guilty as he listened in; " _Everyone knows about the ball last year_ …"

This was a reference to Padfoot's celebrated accomplishments partway through the dance, when he and his date had mysteriously vanished and _got up to no good_ in a hidden passageway; anyone who hadn't seen or heard was delivered a vastly exaggerated account the following day from Sirius' date, and Sirius' three best mates got a firsthand report from Padfoot, himself.

James was grossly annoyed by these rumors, because he and Sirius kept accurate tabs on who got exactly how far and just when and with whom— and it wasn't fair that half of Gryffindor House now falsely believed that Sirius had successfully completed his ascent up the ladder to manhood. In reality, he'd only got partway there at best; when a new rumor began to circulate, then, about how Sirius had presumably _lost it_ to him, James felt only half compelled to deny it: at least _this_ bit of fabricated nonsense put them on equal ground as far as others knew.

"But that's bollocks," Remus snickered from over his arithmancy text; he raised an eyebrow as he realized that neither of them seemed bothered by the rumors, which were intended clearly in malice. Either way, regardless of their intent such rumors about _two guys together_ had a way of earning boys positive attention from females, and in this particular case they'd also got a lot of other boys hopeful in regard to James.

"Utter bollocks," James laughed with confidence; he laid his head in Sirius' lap after they sat on the lawn to revise and gave him a little wink. He thought that even though he'd only ever fancied women he might not mind giving Padfoot a go— just to see what it was like.

"Come off it," Remus huffed, he started scanning through the other students who had settled down on the lawn; "what if Evans sees?"

Now James propped himself up by the elbows, as on impulse he began to look around for any sight of her; he had a reputation to maintain, after all, but what if Evans got word that he was presumably taken? He wondered if she'd heard the rumor too, and if she did, whether she thought it was hot.

"You really wanna know what it's like?" Sirius asked; without further preamble he bent his head toward James, and James took a moment to consider; Remus and Peter looked on with mute horror, united by their mutual and unspoken desire to stop them, but neither able to conjure forth words.

Sirius' dark hair fell in a shimmering veil over James' face, and while the actual kiss wasn't visible, James went curiously still for a moment; one of his hands tightened round his forgotten potions text.

Peter appeared entirely uncertain what to make of it, because _cool_ was defined by whatever James and Sirius did— so, by that line of reasoning, this had to be cool by default; Remus found himself mortified. For the first time he went on to actually acknowledge the idiotic contest between them, his voice came somehow brittle when he murmured, "I thought you lot were competing, not helping each other win." He wasn't sure why this time it _mattered._

Sirius pulled away with a satisfied smile and James seemed to be deep in thought, he fingered absently at his lip, brow furrowed like he were considering; "Not bad," he said as he turned his head back a bit to gaze at Sirius, he proceeded to sit up, hair even messier than before.

"I should charge you for that," Sirius replied; he leaned back contentedly against the trunk of the tree, and James didn't miss a beat to tell him it was worth five knuts at best. Remus knew that if Padfoot had actually decided to charge for things like that, he could conceivably earn some actual money.

He didn't participate in the sort of competition that the two of them had, but, like most everyone his age, of course he'd _thought_ of it; back during their first year at Hogwarts Sirius had whispered to his friends that he'd nicked a copy of _Playwitch_ from his older cousin, Bellatrix. Later that night the four of them had stayed up late, hidden under his bed drapes while they flipped through the magazine with a bad _lumos_ spell; none of them had uttered a word as they looked on in trepidation, uncertain if they found what they saw disgusting or _really wicked cool._

Remus found out second year that James and Sirius had compared and contrasted sizes; part of him was repulsed, and part was curious to know how they ranked in comparison— and still another part was curious as to how he would rank among them, himself. Mostly, though, he just sort of felt left out; _it_ _'s a daft thing_ , he had told himself, _to feel bad for being left out of_.

It felt like Sirius and James were still comparing sizes to this day.

"Is it true about you and Black?" a witch from their transfiguration lecture had cornered James shyly one morning, and James flashed her his most charming grin; he winked as he asked, "Do you want it to be?"

From somewhere across the way came the look of revulsion from Severus Snape.

He was almost grateful inside: if anything, the recent rumors had made Lily even more frustrated by Potter than before, and Severus thought that if James had fancied her in earnest, then he was an even more despicable creature than he'd thought.

In truth, James only really fancied Lily— but, after all, there was a race to be won and a reputation to maintain; in truth, the prospect of involving her in a competition like this made him feel very wrong inside.

Sirius took his place beside Remus at lunch, he got one arm around him and said, "Got you sorted for potions tomorrow."

He tapped him amicably on the chest and then reached for a plate of stew; "Figured out exactly what Slughorn has planned, we've all got a head start."

Remus grinned, his inward curiosity about mischief was subtly piqued; he whispered knowingly in hushed tones, "But how did you…?"

"Had a rummage in his desk," Sirius replied; "Good thing, too— looks complicated." His hand came under the table, where he passed a folded bit of parchment into Remus' waiting hand.

"Cheers," Remus said, convinced it wasn't really _cheating;_ beyond all else, however, he was really just glad to be included in the plan.

_(On to Chapter 3)  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	3. Chapter 3

Moony didn't know what it was about Padfoot and Prongs; the rumors about them had gained massive popularity, and ever since then his two best mates appeared devoted to bring those very rumors to manifestation. It shouldn't have bothered him the way it did. For once he had found he preferred when there was a competition between them, and not a twisted sort of cooperation that had him disturbed in ways he didn't understand.

Just how would appearing involved with one another help them become involved with anyone else...? Remus didn't know, but it certainly did help.

No one but Peter and himself had seen Sirius kiss James on the lawn, but half a loungeful of Gryffindors saw him seated luxuriantly over James' lap while the two had revised, heads close enough together that it might have been scandalous and it might not.

Over at one of the tables three witches watched them transfixed, whispering not-so-subtly amongst themselves while crossing and uncrossing and re-crossing their legs. Even bloody Evans watched.

Remus exchanged a glance with Peter, the two of them stuck miserably in the same boat, but neither saw solace there somehow; there was more to it, Remus found, than being _left out_.

But were they really…? Were they really at it, and was there anything more to it beyond just a show, and how much were they really going to do just to get attention? It was during an after-game party that the two of them, dizzy and hot off butterbeer, were standing just a little too close at the lounge; Sirius was leaning against one of the tables and James had a bottle in hand, he swayed forth a little while his fingers danced just at Sirius' thigh.

It should have been enough that James was chaser. It should've been enough that they properly beat Ravenclaw at the match, didn't everyone present already want to shag Prongs, did he really need to do whatever it was he was doing with Padfoot right then...?

Sirius had leaned forward to have a sip of James' butterbeer and James held it up as to help him along, but it spilled just a little; the fluid ran in a glistening streamlet down the corner of Sirius' mouth and onto his shirt, Remus watched while James leaned in to lap at it slowly.

They'd completely forgotten the drink after that; they were at it, kissing not with the kind of experimental curiosity as out on the lawn, but like they'd either had plenty of practice or they wished that they had, and, fucking hell, were the girls watching. Some of the blokes were watching, too, but none as intently as Remus; he wished he couldn't hear them, but he could, even while the dirty things they said came far too quiet and too muffled to be intended for an audience.

" _Right here?"_ James asked, his free hand played just at the buckle of Sirius' belt, and Sirius' lips stretched in a grin that was elegant and very dirty all the while; his aristocratic fingers came gradually on James' wrist while he prompted him forth. " _Right here_ ," he replied.

Remus reassured himself that this was only something to get Lily's interest in James, and it certainly seemed to work— except that the look in her eyes wasn't exactly _envy_ , but something far more profane; it was like everyone who'd ever fancied Sirius and ever fancied James had finally got a chance to see them together.

 _Gryffindor needs to win more often_ , someone said.

Remus didn't stick around to see where James' hand proceeded to go after that.

\--

It was late when the both of them got in from the party, Remus and Peter had long since got in their beds, and it really was too loud, too drunkenly obnoxious when Sirius and James stumbled in through the door; arms still slung round each other, still cheering for Gryffindor's win.

Remus could see them through a thin opening in the drapes of his bed, still too close, still brushing lips together now and then like they were kissing— and the fact that Sirius already had snogged half the witches and some of the wizards in their grade had never annoyed Remus so much as this did.

"Bollocks, you're utter shite as Chaser," Sirius laughed, his voice came a little too knowing, a little too low, and James was a little too tame in the cocky protest that followed: _T_ _hat's not what you were saying before—_

And what's worse, after that came the distinctive aroma of cigarettes, Remus wondered what part of the after-game party had lent itself to this; then James was stupidly coughing and Sirius smirked, he took the lit fag from his hand to his own mouth and called him an amateur and a tit.

"That's disgusting," James said, and Sirius murmured that he was going to teach James to smoke proper, and _what were friends for...?_

It occurred to Remus with a bout of surprise that he envied James for that, too.

Despite himself he listened in to what ensued after that, when Sirius put the cigarette to James' mouth a second time and chuckled at his reaction; then the coughing went silent, and everything went silent, and that was even worse— then Sirius' voice came distinctly in a low, smooth way Remus hadn't heard him use from so close by.

" _Mate, you all right?"_

He should have shouted at them to fuck off and be quiet. He should have told them to put that bleeding thing out, but Remus' voice was uselessly lodged at his throat, and he listened with the curious attention of a real voyeur.

When Sirius spoke next he sounded like he still had the cigarette at his lips, there was the rustling of cloth, again that knowing laughter— then, to Remus' horror came the unmistakable metal clink of a belt and the low zip of a fly, and James chuckled in amusement, and Sirius was on again about what friends were for, and _weren't they supposed to be competing for this, and did this that mean Sirius already knew how to—_

He wished they'd shut up. He wished they'd sober up and remember that James fancied Lily and that Sirius never fancied anyone but played with everyone, but despite it Remus was touching himself, he was too hard to deny himself at that point. Whatever Sirius did after that, he was good at it, it was apparent by the quiver in James' voice, the silent expletives that issued from him half-strained, the bit Sirius muttered about _Stop pulling my hair_ —

" _Fucking hell, you like that, don't you?"_

It was James that time, he spoke with a mixture of fascination and something not quite discernible _—_ and after Remus listened longer, he realized it was quite clearly _hunger;_ he wondered what it was that Sirius liked, and if it were what friends were for, then _wasn't he also both their best friend...?_

Was it because he wasn't in on their idiotic contest to begin with? Was Peter somehow able to sleep through all this, or was he just as mortified? _Either way, certainly he wasn't touching himself the way Remus was_.

He had realized that for some time they'd gone eerily silent, and it got all the worse when ultimately James' voice came a little too breathy and a little too hoarse; he murmured something about " _And how much would you charge me for that?"_

"For you," Sirius said, "that's free."

"Blimey," there came the clinking of a belt again, Remus could hear James jumping off the top of the dresser; "Thanks, mate."

Remus shut his eyes tightly, face buried in his pillow while he got himself off in his hand, and he wanted _something_ with curious longing he hadn't known before; but _everyone_ fancied Sirius Black, didn't they, and how could the two of them not realize that he and Peter could hear the whole thing...? He found himself wondering for one bizarre moment if they weren't still putting on a show even just then, the way James had got Lily's attention back at the lounge.

_(On to Chapter 4)  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	4. Chapter 4

It was partway through potions that Remus spoke to James; he'd been debating in his mind whether or not to bring it up, and whether he was stupid for caring in the first place _—_ but it had bothered him throughout the past days, and he found himself thinking back to it far more often than he wanted. They'd been working on invigoration draught for twenty minutes, and while it wasn't particularly bad to brew he found it difficult to focus on cutting or stirring anything properly.

After a long while at last he directed his attention deliberately to the matter at hand.

"Oi, Prongs," he said, he looked up from over his cauldron and swallowed dryly in the moment between speaking and when James looked his way; he could still back away if he wanted. He could just as easily say something else.

"What's he like?" he asked; he stared deliberately down at the light green color his potion wasn't supposed to turn into. "Sirius."

Now that the question was irreversibly out in the open between them, his ears burned red while he waited for any kind of response; there was an excruciating silence, James paused for exactly three seconds before going back to chopping his ingredients with ease.

"Funny question out of you, isn't it?" he asked; when Remus regarded him out the corner of his eye he noticed him smiling.

James reached for a small vial that he'd set aside and tipped it briskly over his cauldron to drop out one eye of newt; the potion hissed and went a complacent shade of blue, to his contentment.

"Yeah," Remus said, he'd given up on his own potion for the time being. "So what's he like?"

James smiled with a bout of amusement, he quirked an eyebrow and glanced back; he seemed to think the question through, like he'd not really paid attention before. "Very nice," he said, "if you like blokes." He dropped a handful of stems into his concoction.

Remus considered.

"Do you like blokes?" he asked, but he knew the answer already.

A few more seconds passed.

"Just him," came the reply, casual and lighthearted as though James were asked his opinion on a book or a certain quidditch team; "As a friend."

"As a friend," Remus repeated.

 _Yeah, a friend who had you on your knees last night behind the drapes of his bed, giving far-too-elaborate instructions on what you ought to be doing while you're down there_.

If it were _just him_ , then maybe Sirius was so good that he could even gain the interest of someone who wasn't really into blokes in the first place; it was no secret, after all, that Sirius had got around with nearly as many wizards as witches, and those wizards couldn't _all_ have been into blokes from the start.

Maybe it was just that Sirius was _pretty_. Maybe it was just that he knew how to smile in a way that was both very boyish and dangerous all at once _—_ _or maybe it was how dirty he was when he went at it with James, deliberately for show._

"You wanna fuck Padfoot?" James asked, and Remus nearly knocked his cauldron off its base.

" _What…?"_

James shrugged; "Sounds like you do."

Remus merely stared, mouth agape and eyes blinking; he shook his head while he tried to digest what James had said. _Did he hear that right...?_

" _That's not—!"_ he sputtered, and James rolled his eyes from over his cauldron; he'd known Moony quite well for years, and wasn't buying his denial now.

It occurred to Remus that what alarmed him most was how casually James had brought it up; you didn't speak so casually about sex, did you, unless you'd had some experience.

 _Did that mean that they both had already done it, and the rumor was actually true?_ Was that all they had to do to be done with their idiotic contest? Just sleep with each other and both win the race...?

For the first time Remus found himself conscious of how behind he actually felt.

At the front of the room Slughorn had begun to collect vials from students to grade, and Remus quickly nudged James' robe; "Prongs," he whispered, "can I get a vial of yours? My potion's shite."

It wasn't something he usually did; Remus typically worked very hard at his courses, but if he'd been a complete stickler for rules and academic integrity he'd never get on as well as he did with his friends.

James grinned and patted him amicably on the back; "I've got you sorted," he said, he appeared well pleased with his own results while he held one hand out to receive Remus' vial. "What are friends for?"

\--

Remus didn't really get the answer he wanted in his conversation with James, but it did make him realize something: they _were_ best mates after all, and it was daft to get so worked up and nervous; maybe if he wanted Padfoot he should have just said so. But did he…?

 _Of course not_. He didn't even fancy blokes.

Except that he'd got himself off several times the previous night thinking of what he'd heard from outside his bed drapes; except that he'd spent more time trying to figure out what _very nice_ might have meant than properly working on his essay for charms. There was a trip that upcoming Saturday to Hogsmeade, and he wanted to be sure he was done with his essays before then— however, his mind had been no good for the past two days.

James had been on about planning to ask Lily out during the outing, and Remus knew that this time it wasn't inconceivable that she'd agree; she'd been watching James more intently of late than she had in the previous five years combined.

"But you're not really considering it?" Severus asked with growing aggravation while he walked at her side after class: fan service or not, _it was still bloody Potter._

 "Of course not," Lily sighed, "Don't be ridiculous." But, all the while, she was eyeing the four friends walking off somewhere across the lawn; she'd got off thinking of them, too.

On the day of the trip she looked around the lawn where students had gathered to head out to Hogsmeade, and assured Severus she was only trying to find her friend Alice; _they'd got themselves detention again_ , she thought with disappointment, there was nothing to be done about Potter and Black...

Remus was no less annoyed; if there ever was a time he'd felt decidedly left out, this was it. He stood outside their dorm room door with a pretty good idea of what his two best mates were up to inside, and even though it was his room as well, he wasn't one to walk deliberately in; Hogsmeade outings were few and far between, and they'd already talked extensively about going, and James had all these plans about Evans— so why were they wasting a perfectly good Saturday having at each other…?

He thought of knocking on the door or calling to them from outside, about how everyone was already leaving and they should stop mucking about and get on with it— but it was _his_ room, too, and why should he have to stand outside and knock...?

They were best mates and he shouldn't get worked up, that was what he'd long since decided.

And besides, who was to say that they were actually _at it...?_

He gave the handle a quick twist and pushed the door in.

Inside the room the pale winter sunlight streamed in through the partly-open window, it weakly illuminated an arch along the rug and again there came the nauseating scent of cigarette smoke; the drapes at James' bed were drawn shut, and from a few yards away Remus could make out visible movement from behind the curtain. He stood frozen in place, face flushed; certainly they must have heard the door. They must have known he'd come in, but there was no effort on their part to scramble or falter or stop—from the sliver in James' blinds he could still see movement.

"The— trip to Hogsmeade is leaving," he stammered; "I—"

He couldn't quite get past that point; even after he'd spoken they went on uninterrupted, like he wasn't even there.

Remus stood stupidly at the doorway, he watched the sunlight wash coldly over the patch of carpet on the floor, where it painted a curious oblong shape; it was disturbing, the way James and Sirius didn't react, to the point where he wondered if there might be some spell at work. He unraveled his scarf while he paced to the bed, and hesitated a few moments as his heart raced inside him.

"Lads, I—" he said as in final warning, and then tentatively slid the drape back from the bed.

It occurred to him that he expected resistance of some sort, that his hand would encounter an invisible wall or an enchantment that would prevent him from moving forth— but, to his own surprise, he was able to proceed unhindered.

James had Sirius in his lap, naked as the day he was born; James, himself, was fully dressed. He had the cigarette in his mouth and grinned with casual amusement at Remus, like somehow he'd got completely comfortable with smoking. 

"'Lo, Moony," he said, and Sirius turned partway around, his long hair slid across the perfect angle of his shoulder and there came that part-boyish, part-dangerous smile; Remus noticed then that there was something round his neck— the collar and leash he'd worn as a dog when James went swaggering with him across the lawn. The leash snaked down his naked chest and loosely into James' hand.

In a matter of microseconds Remus went from zero to completely beet red.

Sirius reached with one hand and took the cigarette from James' mouth, then brought it to his own lips; he inhaled with proficient grace that Remus hadn't seen from so close up. It wasn't the first time he'd seen Sirius naked; they'd all changed clothes in the same room, after all, and there also was the time that, to the delight of students in all four houses and horror of some of the staff, Sirius and James had streaked nude on their brooms halfway through a quidditch match.

But it was the first time he'd seen him naked from this close up.

"Hello, Moony," Sirius snickered, he winked while he held the cigarette out for him to take.

Remus gazed down at his waiting hand and then back at his eyes, his voice was uselessly frozen at the back of his throat.

"Take it," Sirius said, and Remus did, he held it awkwardly between his fingers and examined it like it were a foreign object; he was aware suddenly that _cigarettes felt warm_.

"Good man," said James; he beckoned him closer.

"I thought..." Remus murmured; "...I thought you were gonna ask out Evans..."

James nodded as though in acknowledgement; "Don't worry," he smiled, "I am."

"Here," said Sirius, he leaned toward Remus and took the cigarette from in-between his idle fingers; he brought it to Remus' mouth instead, and Remus coughed, his eyes went wide and his eyebrows furrowed while he reached to take it out again.

James and Sirius laughed. "Just like you, Prongs," Sirius said.

"Yeah, piss off," came the reply, James took the cigarette back and brought it to Sirius' lips; he did so with a sort of nurturing attention that had Remus both envious and curiously aroused, and there he was feeling _left out_ again.

"Prongs told me you had some questions," Sirius said, his voice came a bit muffled over the cigarette, and when Remus looked closer he could see that James' hand was in Sirius' lap, his wrist slowly moving; it occurred to him he'd been doing that the entire time they'd been speaking.

He was far beyond embarrassment now.

"He did, did he," Remus asked; he wished James hadn't told Sirius about that, but now that he had, it didn't come as malice or ridicule. _It genuinely sounded like they wanted to help_.

These guys were his best friends; they slept in the same room for years, revised for their OWLs together, cheated on exams together a few times— and of course, they'd learned an illegal, extravagant transfiguration spell just so they could spend time with him. Sirius had told them, himself, that his three best mates were more of a family to him than his real family had been.

Then how was it that now Remus felt so profoundly terrified, as though he'd only just got to know them for the first time...?

"So you wanted to know _what Padfoot is like, did you?"_ Sirius laughed luxuriantly; he was beautiful at that moment, his naked body moved elegant and slender in a way that Remus had never noticed before.

As he turned aside Remus could tell exactly what James' hand was doing; he averted his gaze in embarrassment, like he'd finally intruded too far.

"Don't look away," James said softly. "you wanna know, don't you?"

By then, Remus was completely hard; he watched quietly while James took his hand, and despite himself he proceeded to sit on the mattress beside them. Then, completely without warning, James brought Remus' hand down toward Sirius' member, and Remus gasped in surprise; he'd never felt another bloke's cock before. It was slick and hot and very rigid, and before he could think anything else, he became aware that _it felt very nice_.

His gaze met Sirius' slowly, and Sirius gave a little laugh, his eyes twinkled in a way that could have made him fall in love—

Remus smiled, too; he gradually moved his hand along the hard member and tentatively familiarized himself with the sensation, and Sirius' eyes fluttered shut; "That's well nice," he chuckled.

 _It's very nice_ , that was what James had said in potions.

James seemed unable to resist that time, he cupped Sirius' mandible possessively and drew him to himself, and kissed him slowly on the mouth.

"I want to do that too," Remus heard himself say without ever intending it, it came honest and innocent and laden with undertones of something he'd stifled too long— and James could tell, because he broke the kiss reluctantly, hand still on Sirius' jaw.

Several seconds passed before he nodded and pulled away.

"All right."

_(On to Chapter 5)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	5. Chapter 5

Remus hadn't fully registered what it was he had asked, but James and Sirius were already in agreement; whatever he might have said in attempt to explain himself never came. He watched in mute panic while James' fingers slid from Sirius' jaw very slowly, like he was reluctant to give him up; Remus had almost forgotten where he'd had his hand and just what it was doing, but when he tried as on impulse to withdraw, Sirius' fingers came on his wrist.

"You wanted to know, mate," he said, cigarette now long forgotten, and he brought it back to his lips with a long-winded draw. The orange tip burned bright for several moments before he took it back out, and Remus squinted and coughed at the smoke, so finally Sirius turned aside to put it out.

"There'll be a time to teach you that," he said, and Remus didn't manage to say anything more, because Sirius kissed him quickly; his large, elegant hands came on Remus' cheeks while he drew him in, and it came so simple, so comfortable but still _so good_ , he could taste the humid expiration of his breath, he could still smell the scent of smoke—

He reached after him unawares while James laughed beside them; "Come on," James said, he allowed Sirius out of his lap and gently caressed his naked thigh with appreciation. Remus had forgotten all about Hogsmeade or Lily or Peter, he watched as from somewhere far off while James led Sirius to lie on his back; he was _meant_ to be naked. His limbs were slender and long, his hips narrow and perfectly cut, every angular bend of his muscles and bones seemed almost molded from clay; _when did he get like that_ , Remus wondered, _how didn't I notice...?_

Remus' hand slipped away from his member, it felt curiously slick and wet, and he gazed at it absently; it wasn't a bad feeling. It wasn't like he hadn't felt it when he'd touched himself, and it was a little like that, and a little bit not; he raised one eyebrow while he held up a part of the leash that lay slack on the mattress, as to ask what all that was about.

Sirius snickered. James laughed outright, "Padfoot's idea," he said, "dirty git."

"Oi, sod off," Padfoot said, and he stretched on the mattress like a king, he may have been out in the lounge and mid-chatter with everyone, the way he was so casual about it; here was a guy with no concept of shame. It really was so like Sirius, though, as Remus had known him for so many years, and it helped calm his nerves.

"You ever snog anyone proper, Moony?" Sirius asked, and James nudged his side; "Oi," he said in warning, "Don't be a cock, Padfoot."

It was an embarrassing question. Remus hadn't been in on their contest, he didn't boast or tally his accomplishments the way the other two did; now that he was prompted outright, he felt suddenly pressured, as though just by virtue of asking his friends had assumed that he _hadn't._

"Maybe I did," he replied, though he didn't know what _proper_ meant; he'd kissed a girl on the lips when he was fourteen. She was three years his elder and a muggle, and it was one of the best things he'd had ever felt.

"You fancy snogging me?" Sirius asked, and James reprimanded him again; "Just do it, Pads, blimey."

He turned to Remus and patted him amicably on the back; "He's having a laugh 'cause you're nervous, it's no big deal if you've not snogged a bloke."

"Yeah, all right, come on," Sirius said, he smiled lightheartedly and pulled Remus toward him by the arm; "Thanks," Remus replied, they both were being nice about it, and it did calm him down. They made it seem like it was really no big deal, something like letting him copy down class notes.

This close up, he could see straight into Sirius' eyes. He chuckled. It felt strange and surreal, oddly exciting, there were curious thrills dancing all through him and coursing electric along his skin; "Okay," Sirius said, and Remus breathed in, "Okay."

Padfoot smiled toothily, he approached him with arms sliding round his back, and Remus trembled slightly when he kissed him; " _Open_ ," Sirius murmured just against his mouth, and Remus dutifully parted his lips, gentle and tentative while Sirius gradually had at him.

He was very good at it. His lips moved with careful but very attentive proficiency, tugging gently and pressing with elegant grace, his tongue went in his mouth in a way that wasn't cumbersome or invasive; it was the sort of enjoyable thing he could have kept up much longer, he heard James comment from beside him, "Enjoy that, Moony, not everyone's that good."

He didn't want to stop when Sirius pulled away, he'd already been lying partway over his naked chest, one hand at his shoulder , eyes fluttering open, heart racing more than before; it took a few moments for James' words to register.

"Who says I've not—" he stammered, and now Sirius laughed and slapped James on the arm. "Now who's being a cock?" he asked; "He doesn't have to tell us."

But there was that _us_ again, _Padfoot and Prongs_ , and Remus thought of how surprised and almost offended his best mates had been long before when they realized he'd been keeping a secret from them about being a werewolf; despite feeling defensive, he deliberately succumbed to the truth. "I've not snogged anyone before this," he murmured with a sheepish smile, "Not like this. I've just kissed a girl on the mouth." It didn't feel bad to tell them after all.

"Well, that's all right," Sirius said, and James nodded, as though to reassure him in case he felt bad, and neither tried asking who it was or how it came to be. Remus wasn't thinking of it anymore; he became aware that he wanted to kiss him again.

On the other side of the bed James watched with something like discontentment, like he were torn between the desire to help Remus and the urge to keep his best mate possessively to himself. James still only really fancied Evans; he thought _this was something entirely unrelated to that_.

And without James ever saying anything, Remus thought he understood: if you'd asked him, he'd tell you he was totally straight. He'd never wanted another bloke the way he wanted Sirius. He thought back to the time Sirius first kissed James, and how James had said it was _worth five knuts at best;_ he knew, however, that it was utter bollocks, and that James was proficient enough at being cocky to pass it off with such casual ease.

Now that he'd had a taste of  _what Padfoot was like,_ he couldn't really blame Prongs for spending all that time snogging him.

"Can we do it again," he asked with childlike honesty, his face was alight with such candid innocence that Sirius laughed; he leaned in to do so when James gave a sound of disapproval. "I've made a proper fairy of you, Prongs," Sirius said, and James scoffed sarcastically; "Rubbish," he huffed, "I've snogged more birds than you."

Now Sirius scoffed. "Lies, no you haven't."

"I have—"

Remus stayed quiet. He'd not _snogged a lot of birds_. He felt self-conscious and immature somehow, and impatient now that they were arguing; he didn't like hearing about how many birds they had snogged.

"Piss off already," he said, "who cares about that."

It was a daft thing to say, he knew— because _who cared_ was exactly these two, who've been competing at exactly such a thing for nearly as long as they'd known one another; and also, it wasn't true that Remus, himself didn't care. He cared, he had realized, and he felt very behind in comparison; he wondered if Padfoot wanted to kiss him at all.

"Right," James said, "let's teach him, then."

Remus tugged very gently at the part of the leash that spanned out from Sirius' collar, just enough to get his attention, and he leaned in courageously of his own accord; Sirius stiffened for a moment but proceeded to respond in kind, his hand hovered tentatively over Remus' on the leash. It went on a few seconds, and when they finally stopped they looked at each other, forehead to forehead, Sirius smiling and Remus chuckling with stifled enthusiasm; James gazed without a word, aware that he only fancied Evans and that he didn't like blokes, but possessive all the same.

"Yeah, let's teach him," Sirius said.

"Teach me what?" Remus asked, both excited and afraid, but before he fully moved away James had reached to turn Sirius' head toward him, he kissed him without saying a word.

Remus didn't know what to make of it; he thought of the question he'd heard witches whisper in the halls and behind him in class, _Is it true about Potter and Black?_ James had made a point that he liked him as a _friend_ , but that felt entirely inconsistent with what it looked like now.

Neither of them wanted to give Remus a hard time, however; both appeared almost apologetic when they drew apart. "Right," Sirius said, he patted Remus on the arm; "We'll teach him what to do with a bloke."

 _I don't need to know that_ , Remus thought, but he didn't protest; it meant he was going to do things with Sirius.

 _I don't fancy him_.

But there was the most curious thrill dancing inside him, a restless anticipation that was exciting and aggravating both at once, and he found himself interested in anything Sirius might have to say; _It's only Padfoot_ , he thought, _what's the big deal…?_

"Right, come here, Moony," James spoke; "put your hand here."

His gaze met Sirius' knowingly, they both grinned, then laughed a little while James' hands slid around Sirius' member; Sirius watched, propped by his elbows, lips slightly parted like he were going to say something, but no words came.

"I already know how to do that," Remus said; "what bloke doesn't—"

But he reached out anyway, and watched Sirius' expression when he reacted to the feel of them on him; beside Remus, James' hand had been as he'd known it for years— the way he'd steadied Remus' hand on his wand, when the four of them played quidditch, or rousing him from sleep when he'd dozed off in class—

It was somehow surprising, how familiar it felt now while they did _this._

"Teach him something better, Prongs," Sirius' voice came a little hitched, the muscles at his flat abdomen went momentarily tight; James glanced back knowingly and smirked as in momentary disbelief of his nerve, then raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"All right."

"That's nice for you, isn't it?" Remus joked; "Lying back like that—"

Sirius nodded, still smiling. "It is."

Remus secretly admired him; he'd never have the courage to lie there completely disrobed while his best mates experimented like that, even if it did feel nice.

Maybe if it were more modest and intimate. Maybe if he weren't so blatantly out on display— but neither Sirius nor James had a concept of modesty, that much he knew.

"Right," James said, hand still moving on Sirius, to the extent that there was room with both their hands there. "Move your hand; watch."

Remus sheepishly drew away; he watched while James scooted back along the mattress, the way he grinned and absently licked his lips, and Sirius propped himself higher by his elbows like he really wanted to see this time.

" _Bloody poof…_ " he murmured while James just barely brushed his lips against the tip of his cock, and he smiled with a mixture of anticipation and triumph, and James turned his head to him quickly; "Fuck off," he laughed, it was visible that here was something Prongs enjoyed doing even for his own accord, even proud and arrogant as he was.

Sirius' lips came farther apart with an intake of breath when James took him in his mouth, and Remus watched as though frozen in horror— because who _hadn't_ seen this sort of thing in porn, and who _hadn't_ fantasized about getting head— but seeing it straight out like this, and the fact that it was _Sirius and James—_ it was odd and disturbing, and left Remus feeling curiously uncomfortable.

He felt again that he was intruding; he felt overwhelmed and embarrassed and wholly out of place. Sirius' hand came warmly on his, even while he was visibly affected and his speech came forth strained; "Mate," he said, "you all right?"

Remus forced a smile; Sirius' hand was large and gentle, and the slender digits wove firmly in his. Even through James' ministrations he winked at Remus, with the same mischievous smile that he'd come to know well.

"Bet you can do it better, Moony," he said; "You heard Prongs, he _only likes women_."

Remus chuckled at the absurdity of it, he furrowed his brow and laughed. "I only like women too."

In truth, he didn't really understand _what_ he felt.

"Besides," he added quickly, "you just want it 'cause it feels nice."

"Can't lie about that," Sirius said, and his smile widened; "So, fancy giving it a go?"

Remus' eyes darted across his face; James was gazing at them both, even while he still was at it. It was something Remus had never imagined he'd see him do, because James really wasn't someone you could picture with another bloke. He was straightforward and classically boyish and wholesome and rough, and had a charming way with women that came to him second nature; but it also was true that it's always been _Padfoot and Prongs_ , and maybe Remus could understand how someone like James who really only ever fancied women could do something so intimate with Sirius, and genuinely enjoy it.

"Yeah," he said, "I wanna do it."

"Good man," Sirius replied, it was with strained reluctance that he asked James to move.

James' long fingers remained on him for some seconds more, he gave him a few strokes and then swiped at his mouth with the back of one hand; Remus could see that he was slick all over, from his lips to his chin. _He couldn't deny that he made it look really nice._

"You're getting good at that," Sirius said, and Remus could tell that James didn't know if to take it as a compliment or insult, but it was apparent he was relatively new at it, too.

Sirius already was starting to say something more, but James leaned toward him and kissed him very slowly, his hand still on, still moving, and this time Remus didn't feel so much awkward and out of place as transfixed in a strange fascination.

He was entirely flushed. Sirius kissed James in a way that was pleasure to watch, it was hungry and dirty, but graceful despite that, like you'd never kiss someone that way unless _they really mattered_.

" _Let him do it_ ," Sirius' voice came low and hoarse on James' lips, he was visibly reluctant to stop but his fingers were tightly entwined in Remus' all the while.

His lips glittered wet when he turned to face him after that, his dark hair swung at the nape of his neck; "Go on, it's all right."

"Right," Remus murmured.

He felt uncomfortable, but James was enough of a git that if he'd asked him not to stare, he'd stare deliberately just to give him a hard time. At first thought, it seemed strange to take Sirius in his mouth after James had had him in his; _at second thought, it was strange to have another bloke's knob in your mouth to begin with._

He brought his hand in place and closed his fingers round the hard member, and again he was reminded that _it wasn't actually so bad;_ it was human and warm, and felt nice in his palm. 

Curious, how he wasn't repulsed by touching another boy there; the member slid wetly in-between his fingers, and, unexpectedly, he wasn't even bothered by the fact that it was James who'd got him wet.

Sirius seemed to like it well enough; he watched, head tilted with a hint of the haughty Black regard you could see in his face now and then if you knew him well enough, and waited with visible anticipation for Remus to proceed.

Remus bent forth a little, he parted his lips and closed his eyes, and then tentatively brought the tip to his mouth; he'd tasted himself before, just a little, out of curiosity, but he didn't really remember what it was like. It was only a little bit now, relatively speaking, and just a little wasn't bad. His hand around Sirius went slick, he felt himself go hard while he took more of his cock in.

" _Blimey,"_ it was James who spoke, he shook his head like he wasn't sure what to think.

"That's good, very nice," Sirius said, his voice came breathy and hoarse; "That's brilliant, Moony."

Remus found himself unexpectedly flattered, he'd have thanked him if such a thing didn't seem _strange;_ as for James, he wasn't sure whether to take the piss out of Moony or argue that _he could do better._

_(On to Chapter 6)  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	6. Chapter 6

It was a pretty big deal, what Remus was doing; he'd not even come close to doing something like this with a woman, and if you'd asked him, he'd never in a million years tell you he'd expected to do it with a bloke. It was strange, he had Sirius so close he could taste him on his tongue, and feel the human flesh of his thigh and his hip in his hand, parts of him he'd never thought he'd know from close up; he didn't know what he thought of it.

He became aware of a painful longing inside him, a possessive sort of anguish, and felt himself juvenile and inexperienced; he'd never actually desired to learn to do things with other boys, but now that he was at it he found he was embarrassed by how little he knew _—_ _and only because it was Sirius_.

He didn't want to be inexperienced in front of him; he found himself surprised by how much what Sirius thought suddenly mattered.

"Look at him go," James murmured, and it didn't come entirely in ridicule; there was a note to his voice that Remus realized was intrigue, he stopped just long enough to tell him to shut up. He didn't like being watched, but it wasn't so bad if it was just Sirius and James: they'd seen him at his most wretched hour, after all, the times his painful transformation occurred. When he thought back to something like that, all this seemed trivial in comparison.

"Like this," James said, his hand came warm on his, steady and gentle while he showed him how to slide it and angle his wrist; "It feels better for him this way. No. Not like that; watch."

Sirius, for one, was having a brilliant time; far from embarrassed, he watched them intently, lips parted and eyes glittering. He was no longer giving feedback about whether or not it was good and merely gazed with vast anticipation, frustrated during the time between when Moony stopped and when Prongs had to show him what to do.

Remus felt a bit irritated that James had made him pause, but he realized he had to be patient, so he moved his hand away and watched; it never stopped feeling strange. Sirius was very wet by then, the fluid glistened clear over the tip and in slick rivulets between James' long fingers, and, for a moment, Remus thought _it really did look very nice_.

He watched James take him into his mouth with his hand lower down, and when he withdrew entirely, his hand twisted upward and over the tip before he took him in his mouth again; apparently, he knew what he was doing, because Sirius gave a small, desperate cry, and he muttered impulsively, " _Yes, do that—_ "

"All right, let me do it," Remus said impatiently, he'd got a little annoyed that he had to be shown.

He could tell James was reluctant to stop, but he went rapidly back to acting the ever-confident leader and guide, prepared to hand Sirius over; he was gentle on pulling away, the member still glittered wet while he lapped the fluid from the tip, transparent streamlets lingered just at the end of his tongue and finally broke.

_Remus wondered when exactly it went from being strange to being something that got him hard._

He didn't mind that Sirius felt wet, and he didn't mind that he'd got wet because of James. There came inside him a curious hunger, he took the member in his hand even before James completely moved off; it was slick and messy and he didn't hold back this time, his hand went tight around it and he moved the way that James had done before, while taking him in his mouth.

" _Fuck—_ "

Sirius' voice came breathy and hoarse, and Remus felt a thrill of triumph; _he liked it_ , that made him want to do it more—

He felt his long fingers come in his hair, a little strained but still light and careful, Sirius sounded vulnerable and impatient while he whispered, _Faster_ —

And even while Remus' lips hurt from the pressure of his own teeth, even while his hand went entirely slick and there came wet, profane sounds clearly audible, he went faster, and tried not to think of how it must look.

James' expression all the while went unreadable; there was envy, there was odd fascination, there was the conflicting desire to help his good friend— versus his own distinct sense that his best mate was slipping out from his grasp. He had never wanted to learn to touch blokes, either, but when it became evident that Remus was quite good straight off the bat, he realized with a sense of confusion _that he may have been outdone._

 _No matter_ , he thought, _be happy for Moony; he wanted to learn this and he's doing so well..._

But it hurt even so, and he wasn't sure why; it wouldn't have hurt if it were Padfoot with some bint, or some other boy, other than the usual concern that he'd beat James in their competition— but watching this unfold had him humbled and pained in the most curious way—

 _Humbled_ was something James only ever saved for Sirius.

 _He's really gonna get him off_ , he thought, and he realized he had to be _nice_ about it.

And also, there was something else: for a guy as spectacularly self-absorbed as James Potter, he'd come extraordinarily to see that _here was something Moony really wanted_. It was disturbing and touching and far more profound than he'd suspected before, and he wondered how long it had been this way, and how it came to be that he'd missed something so important about one of his closest friends.

But that was Moony, wasn't it? He kept things quiet, _and you didn't know._ The werewolf bit was perhaps the most elaborate instance of that.

 _Did Moony fancy Padfoot_ , he wondered, but he _couldn't;_ Moony had said, himself, that he'd only fancied women. But all the while Prongs was aware that _he_ had only fancied women too.

Strange, wasn't it _—_ strange how watching Moony do it now had got him hard. Maybe boys could get you hot even if you knew you liked women.

It was messy and profane now, Remus' long fingers moved fast and slick, his fringe swayed softly, his eyes went shut; Sirius was propped by one arm with his other hand still in Remus' hair, he whispered expletives and stifled words and parts of words, and told him _yes_ and _that's good_ and _don't stop—_

His perfect, flat abdomen was entirely tense, his hair went ruffled, the leash from his neck snaked down in a dark line cross the white of his chest and toward the mattress.

He was at his most beautiful then, and James felt compelled as on impulse to kiss him, but he forced himself back; there was a tender twist in his heart that was pain. It never had mattered whom he or Padfoot had snogged or whom they had fancied, because at the end of the day it had always been _Padfoot and Prongs;_ Padfoot was _his_ , and what was the big deal, anyway, hadn't Sirius snogged a sizeable fraction of the student body already, and wasn't _friendship_ something entirely separate from that—

But all the while he felt great affection for Remus, particularly because he was timid and modest, and he'd approached James on the matter with innocent trust; it wasn't easy for Moony, he knew, to bring up something so intimate. At the end of the day, James cared for his three closest friends as though they were family.

It was Sirius, though, who kissed _him_ when he finally came; he leaned close and got one arm round James' back and drew him close, and James found himself kissing back with just as much fervor before he deliberately drew away. Sirius' hand had gone tight in Remus' hair, but Remus didn't mind; he was too stunned by the taste of him, by the hot pulse of fluid at the back of his throat _—_ and his tongue, and his lips, it glistened wet along his fingers and from there farther down—

"No, kiss Moony," James said; Sirius hung his head forth with visible exhaustion, his black hair swayed in a shimmering veil that James gently brushed back. He turned toward Remus and tilted his chin up a bit, he murmured, " _Bloody hell_ ," and reached with one finger to clean the thin stream of liquid that glittered out the corner of his mouth.

Remus' lips had gone red and raw with exertion, his mouth and his chin were entirely wet; James patted his back and prompted him toward Sirius, whose breath still was fast after climax and who laughed knowingly, tiredly, and pulled Remus close by the wrist.

He raised his eyebrows as in appreciation, both his hands came in Remus' hair while he brushed the strands back; "Let me look at you," he grinned, and Remus gazed back with a mixture of amusement and unease, suddenly shy but not unhappy.

Sirius smirked. "He's so dirty, Prongs," he said; "When did our Moony get so _dirty?"_

"Fuck off," Remus chuckled, aware he was messy but also that Sirius liked what he'd done.

"I don't know," James replied; he watched while Sirius kissed Remus, his voice came laden with both tenderness and pain, and also with unmistakable arousal. "Do you reckon it's our bad influence?"

"It's definitely our bad influence," Sirius said; he held Remus' head with both hands while he reached to lap the fluid from his face. Remus gasped silently, his hands hovered partway to Sirius' wrists, but he didn't pry them off. He'd never felt someone do something like this.

"That was brilliant, Moony," Sirius said encouragingly while he kissed him; "you're a natural fairy."

Remus let out a cry of surprise, then another _fuck off_ , and Sirius pointed at James; "not as much as you, though."

"Why, what's Prongs done?" Remus asked, and James rolled his eyes with a groan; " _Don't tell him…_ "

"No, I want to know," Remus insisted, because here was something undoubtedly interesting.

"You want to know," Sirius repeated; it was exactly like all the times Padfoot and Prongs had come up with some devious scheme, and, even with the prominent _P_ glimmering at the front of his robes, Moony had insisted _he wanted to know_.

"Yeah, all right," James said; "Moony, you sure?"

As with all their devious schemes, Remus felt a little afraid, but also vastly curious and intrigued to know what they'd come up with that time; "Yeah, tell me already," he said.

Sirius grinned, he scooted back on the bed, and even now after climax that he was messy and spent, there still was elegant grace to him that was distinctly _Black;_ he bent one leg over the side of the mattress and reached to where his robe lay in a pile on the floor, then rummaged through it before producing his wand.

"Now, Moony," he said, with the same glint in his eye that came before every devious scheme; "this truly is _for the brave of heart_."

Remus raised an eyebrow; James laughed.

"Come to think of it, you know—" Sirius said, and he edged toward James; "why am I the only one without clothes on, not like we don't see Moony naked every month at the Shack, not like you've not seen each other without clothes on—"

He already was pulling off James' school vest, and James was helping along, nodding at what sounded like sound deduction of reason; he had no qualms about being naked, even with everyone at the quidditch pitch watching.

Remus began to protest; it was true that they'd all seen each other, but not under this amount of scrutiny. He'd not spent the past five years comparing and contrasting sizes the way the other two had, or having a wank together whilst staring at the same lewd magazine.

"Come off it, Moony," Sirius chuckled, and again it was exactly like the times he'd expressed qualms about some mischievous plan they'd come up with, that was certain to get all four of them expelled; "You in or not?"

"I'm…in..." Remus offered reluctantly.

James appeared pleased; "There's a lad," he said, his glasses slid askew off his nose while he pulled off his vest.

In truth, the others had seen Remus disrobed many more times than he had seen them, considering all the mornings after his transformation; on those days, he would arise stark naked and in a great deal of pain, he would find himself curled uncomfortably on the creaking old mattress against the still-sleeping figure of the large, scruffy dog.

Their clothes came off in a disheveled pile and Sirius settled down with the wand in his hands, he twirled it proficiently while he spoke.

"How should we do it then?" he asked.

Remus thought it really didn't feel all that odd; as with all the ridiculous schemes he'd found himself agreeing to in the past, it felt good to be included. "What are we doing?" he asked impatiently.

"Hold your horses," came the reply. Sirius turned to James, "Doesn't seem fair to have me do it to you again, does it?"

James smiled defiantly; here was a challenge.

"Absolutely not," he replied with his most charming grin.

"What do you say, Prongs? Wanna do it to me, pretend I was Evans?"

James smirked, he leaned back against the wall, absolutely unbothered by the fact that he was completely disrobed; "If we're gonna teach Moony, it ought to be you."

Sirius considered, still not entirely convinced; he made a motion toward the pack of cigarettes still at the end table, but stopped himself when he remembered that the smoke bothered Remus. They also ought to teach him to smoke, at least once.

"Reckon we should do it to Moony?"

"Do what to me?" Remus asked with growing restlessness, aware that he'd already agreed and unsure if he liked where this was headed; he was sure there were loads of dirty things Prongs would have liked to do with Evans.

"Right, let's do it to Moony," Sirius said conclusively, he got one hand on Remus' knee; "Don't worry, you'll be all right."

"Wait—" Remus said, "didn't you say it was _only_ _for the brave of heart?"_

James pulled himself away from where he'd been leaning against the wall; "That's right," he flashed his thousand-Watt smile. "And you're brave of heart, aren't you?"

It was _exactly_ the way they'd reeled him into all their crazy plans.

Remus regarded them suspiciously, his eyes moved from one to the other and back.

"Y… _yeah…_ " he murmured.

"Good man."  
  
  
 _(On to Chapter 7)  
_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	7. Chapter 7

They had Remus lie down on his back; it was embarrassing, but not as bad as he had expected, because they were discussing the logistics of it all throughout, and they were so casually _Padfoot and Prongs_ the way he'd always known them that, in a sense, it really did feel like another of their schemes.

"All right, Moony?" Sirius asked, and Remus nodded, his long legs stretched carefully over the covers, the digits of his hands pried idly at the sheets; Sirius paused a moment to gaze him up and down, and it really wasn't like he'd not seen him disrobed in the past, but now he was really paying attention. He moved the slack end of his leash aside so it wouldn't interfere and reached with curious attention to slide one hand over Moony's shoulder, then his chest, the alternating ridges of ribs and his flat abdomen, and Remus squirmed because it tickled; finally, he turned on his side and laughed.

James snickered; Sirius smiled. "That tickle?" he asked, and Remus returned to lying on his back, his abdominal muscles still felt tense while he padded absently at his stomach and laughed. "Yeah, sorry—"

"Where else you ticklish?" Sirius asked, and Remus shook his head. "Just there," he said, Sirius laid one hand on his abdomen gently, deliberately slow so it wouldn't affect him so much. "Here?" he asked; Remus nodded.

"Right, I'll be careful there."

His long limbs folded elegantly while he proceeded to lie down over Remus, one leg in-between his thighs and one beside him, and Remus stiffened all at once, he stared in mute panic and scrambled to prop himself up by the elbows; _it was too much_.

"Oi…!" he stammered, he went entirely flushed, and James shook his head; "Too soon, mate."

Sirius gazed down at Remus bemusedly; "Moony," he shook his head, "Come off it."

"I've— not—"

" _Shh..._ "

Sirius leaned very close, his black hair draped over Remus' face while he kissed him. "You've not lain down with someone else without clothes on."

Remus didn't reply; he was frozen partway in place after the kiss, legs bent a little in a forgotten attempt at escape.

"Right, Moony," Sirius said, it was the same tone he'd use when they spoke in class or on the lawn; "What was it you asked Prongs the other day?"

For a moment, Remus wasn't sure what he was on about, but he remembered soon enough; "I asked… I asked what you were like..."

He was defeated and a little embarrassed; Sirius smiled and kissed him again.

" _Did you?"_ His voice issued humid and warm, lips just brushing on his.

Slowly, Remus' legs relaxed on the mattress, his hands came carefully over Sirius' sides.

" _I… I did—_ "

" _And what did Prongs ask you?"_ The words ghosted immaterial in the small space between them, just barely audible.

Remus flushed. "He asked if I…if I wanted…"

" _Wanted what?"_

" _If I wanted to s... to shag you—_ "

Sirius regarded him quietly for several moments, almost kissing again when his voice came low and hoarse; " _And do you?"_

There came a long pause; Remus' breath trembled on Sirius lips, even James stared with curious fascination, for once at a loss for words.

" _Who doesn't_ ," Remus stammered.

James smirked.

Sirius finally kissed Remus, he drew gradually away with a satisfied smile; his voice still rang empathetic, but back to more of his usual tone. "Right then, come off it."

"That ought to make him much less _nervous_ , Pads," James said, he was now twirling Sirius' wand expertly in one hand.

"Sod off."

It definitely made Remus _more_ nervous; but it also got him hot, and he wondered how much of it Sirius actually meant. He didn't _really_ mean _all the way_ , did he, had they really gone that far…?

His hands slid gently over Sirius' back; it was flawless and smooth, there were the protruding iliac crests at his hips, his cock still a bit wet from before; _I can't do_ this, Remus thought, if _that's really what he—_

He'd told them he was _brave of heart,_ but something like this was complex—

Then again, no one had said they were talking specifically about _sex;_ it occurred to him that if it were that simple, they'd likely have told him outright. Sirius finally withdrew from above him, his long arms slid away while he moved backward and finally took his place between Remus' legs; he took note of the fact that Remus was completely hard and snickered knowingly, because he was hard, too, and he reached to take him in one hand.

As on impulse, Remus' hands darted toward his in modesty as to prevent him, but Sirius had got there first; "What," he asked, "you want me to ignore it?"

Remus stared at where Sirius was now casually stroking him.

"No— just—"

"Just what?"

"Just— it's— _sensitive—_ "

Sirius smiled, still going at it.

" _Shit,"_ Remus muttered, his eyes closed in surrender and his head dropped back on the sheets.

"Good man."

Sirius proceeded to move back a bit and then leaned over him, it was the sweep of his hair past Remus' abdomen that got his attention again; this time no protest issued forth, instead Remus watched transfixed while Sirius slid his tongue to lap at the tip of his member.

" _Fucking hell—_ "

It came desperate and strained, and Remus' expression froze completely in a moment of astonishment, _because it was every bit as good as he'd heard_.

" _Do that again,"_ he sputtered, and James let a bark of laughter, and Sirius snickered. "That's well cute."

Remus didn't care; far past the point of shame, he wanted only for him to keep going. "Shut up, both of you, Padfoot, please—"

"Should've started with that, Pads," James remarked; "he'd give you much less trouble."

Remus meant to tell him to shut up again, but the words never came. He didn't care; what Sirius did to him then was, hands down, the single best thing he'd ever felt. When he went back to doing it Remus clutched hard at the sheets, he muttered expletives under his breath and shut his eyes, and now James was watching with visible amusement. He actually slid Sirius' hair aside so that he could see.

"Yeah," Sirius said when he momentarily paused; "Reckon you're right, I should've started with that."

" _Fuck off,"_ Remus murmured, but by then he'd gone completely complacent; he thought he'd let Sirius do anything he wanted if only he'd kept _that_ up. Sirius took him back in his mouth and ran his tongue on him, he was as good at that as he was at kissing; he took his cock in all the way till it slid against the back of his throat, and James called him a slag, and Remus swore in desperation—

The member emerged slick and brilliant when it slipped back out, and Sirius slid his hand firmly along the wet length, profane sounds issued forth; "C'mere, Prongs," he said, and Remus was caught in a moment of something like panic, but it went mostly forgotten when Sirius lapped at him again.

"It's you he wants to shag, mate," James said.

"Will you just come here?"

 _Coming here_ when prompted was also something James reserved only for Sirius.

The wet member glistened in his hand, fluid emanated clear from the tip and streamed over Sirius' aristocratic fingers; he took him in his mouth for a few moments more before withdrawing, and the liquid glittered to his lips when he moved away. James regarded him like he were trying to decide on the most appropriate derogatory term, but before he'd made up his mind, Sirius said simply, "Open—" and he held his slick fingers up to James' lips.

James gazed back in confusion. "Mate, that's Moony."

"Yeah," Sirius said; he pressed the fingers deliberately into James' mouth. "That's Moony."

James' eyebrows rose to his hairline, but before he could react the damage was done. He let a small sound of defeat, aware that he hadn't wholly _disliked_ it: _Sirius was a proper whore,_ he was dead sexy at that moment.

"I worry about you, Pads," James' voice came hoarse when he moved in to kiss him, after the fact he guided Sirius' head down to take Remus in his mouth again. 

"You like doing that, don't you?" he murmured, his fingers slid through Sirius' hair in a gesture of reward, the sort which Sirius _lived_ for; " _Prongs,"_ Sirius breathed, he'd have kept it up all day if it pleased James to see it. _"Please, I need your help."_

"Need my help with what?"

" _With Moony—_ "

James glanced over at Remus' face, he smiled toothily and actually bloody winked behind his glasses; "All right, Moony?" he asked, even while he kept one hand pressed down on Sirius' head.

Remus, at that moment, thought he'd be _all right_ with anything so long as Sirius didn't stop his ministrations; he hadn't completely registered what it was they were planning, soon they both had their hands on his cock, they were kissing messily over the tip and fighting each other for a taste. Remus was vaguely aware that _it was freaking James who had him in his mouth,_ but he'd gone far past the point of caring; he thought that had got him hot, too.

As for James, he couldn't very well back down from something like this, as though he weren't _brave of heart—_ it was precisely _because_ it was Moony that he had to show Sirius he was still up to the challenge, he wouldn't be deterred by something as trivial as the fact that _he had Moony's cock in his mouth._

James Potter didn't do things that _weren't cool:_ anything he did became cool by definition, and if classically boyish, decidedly straight James Potter had sucked off two of his male best mates, then all the better if the entire student body knew.

 _And fuck all,_ Remus became aware, _if he wasn't bloody good at it._

Somewhere at the back of his thoughts, Remus knew he would feel utterly mortified once all this was over _—_ that no amount of reassurance that _they were best friends_ and that _there wasn't anything embarrassing they hadn't already seen each other do_ would make this feel casual or normal _—_ but it had become difficult to think coherently. He hadn't even realized that Sirius was carefully guiding his legs apart till he felt his lips on his inner thigh, his kisses felt warm and humid, and he vaguely heard him murmur _Don't worry, Moony, you'll like this._

 _"What are you—_ "

Anything more that Remus might have said dissolved into voiceless swears when Sirius proceeded to lap at his entrance; he gasped in complete surprise, utterly astonished to realize that _this felt good._

_  
(On to Chapter 8)_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	8. Chapter 8

"That Sirius Black is a right prat."

Lily dangled her legs onto the frozen earth from where she was sat on a large stone, just at the edge of the woods; at her side, Severus said nothing. He knew it was too soon to rejoice in such a thing: the fact that she spoke of it at all meant that it was on her mind, and he had a pretty good guess as to why she thought this. It wasn't because James Potter and his gaggle of idiots were arrogant, insufferable bullies.

It was little solace that Potter, Black, and Lupin never made it to Hogsmeade that day and that he had Lily to himself— because at the moment she seemed more preoccupied with the lot of them than he'd seen her before. She'd never been nice toward James, and Severus took consolation in that; there was a small part of him that guiltily hoped there really was something scandalous between James and Sirius, so that James would stop fancying Lily.

However, it didn't seem that he'd come to fancy her any less: quite to the contrary, he probably did all that stuff specifically _because_ it was something few females could resist, everyone knew that there was undeniable intrigue in seeing two boys together. And, Merlin knew, Potter certainly loved being _seen;_ Severus curled his lip in disgust.

He gazed down at his own feet hanging idly over the edge, and sulked that his time alone with Lily still somehow made him feel like the odd man out; he wanted to tell her that there was nothing alluring about anything Potter and Black did together, but she was pretending there wasn't in a way that made it painfully obvious that there _was._

He picked absently at a loose thread in his sleeve and slid it over the white tip of one finger; "Yeah, they're all prats," he said. He wished they'd thought so for the same reason.

\--

You think trite things when you're vulnerable.

When arousal overwhelms shame and _you don't care_ , you don't care if it's graceless and grotesque and profane, there still remained a distant voice in Remus' mind on about how Padfoot was doing something terribly obscene, and that every day after that when he'd have to face Prongs, he'd be reminded that _he'd gone down on him;_ but it became so difficult to listen, he'd succumbed to it entirely and thought it was love, that nothing else mattered and that _he loved them both—_

Sirius' large hands pressed tight against his behind, he held him in place while he lapped at his entrance; his breath came muffled, _he got hard doing it,_ he'd leave stains of fluid on the covers with his hips pressed down like that—

James could see him from only inches away. _It was so profoundly dirty_ , the way that even while he did it Sirius met James' eyes, and James almost stopped caring for a moment that it was Moony in his mouth, _that got him hard, too—_

" _Padfoot, you slag_ ," he grinned, the member just barely out past his lips, and it came with both ridicule and morbid fascination, and something that sounded a lot like respect; Sirius' laugh issued breathy, James felt his face go hot at how wet he was round the mouth.

Sirius watched James, waiting, asking for permission without actual words; up until the recent weeks, even despite the contest between them James knew that anyone Sirius had snogged _—_ anyone he’d touched, anyone he’d played with— he’d done so only because James had never bestowed on him the opportunity to be with _him.  
_

Sirius _wanted_ to kiss him— _but he knew his place._

James had barely finished uttering his name before Sirius was dutifully at his side, allowing him to slide one digit against his mouth; James' brow furrowed, like he were deeply introspective while he pried Sirius' lips open.

"There's something I want you to do, Pads," James said, and Sirius exhaled impatiently; " _Anything,"_ he muttered, eager with something like primal instinct to have at him. He tilted his head to kiss James' hand, his fingers and his palm.

When he’d caught Prongs’ eyes, he paused where he’d been feverishly nipping at the long digits, aware he appeared somehow troubled; James pursed his lips, Remus saw him lean close to Sirius and then whisper something just at his ear, which he, Remus, could not make out.

Sirius paused at that; he regarded James wordlessly, the smile in his eyes appeared to fade.

"Of course," he quietly replied.

After that, James' hand came on the place where Sirius’ collar met its leash, he tugged him up fervently and seized his mouth with restless hunger, and murmured voiceless promises and swears.

Sirius visibly reveled in every small touch, every gesture of kindness, like it would be the last— he kissed James like he were famished, and continued to have at him until he was asked explicitly to stop.

After that, without a word he returned his attention to Remus, he stroked his thighs expertly and winked, and Remus didn’t get a chance to ask about whether he was all right before he was lapping at him again; _Merlin, it was brilliant._

He’d got his tongue in him, far as it would go until he was lapping at him from the inside, he was loud and profane about it, deliberately obscene; he barely pulled away before James seized his lips again, voice low and strained with desperation, he thought anything off Sirius _tasted so nice—_

When Sirius withdrew after that to return to his ministrations, James tilted his head down toward Remus, he had one hand on Remus' cock and was stroking him without shame; Sirius, who already had his tongue partway in past the entrance, drew away reluctantly, the fluid still glistened from his mouth to the opening when James kissed him again, his eyes fluttered shut with frustration and hunger.

Somewhere inside, Remus felt immensely vulnerable and uneasy, light years away in terms of maturity and like he decidedly didn't fit in; the fact that James was also new to this sort of thing with blokes didn't make him feel better. He wondered how it was that even when they both were having at him, it still felt like they were there with each other.

But it felt so good, he was so overwhelmed with sensation, when they went back to touching him it became difficult to focus on anything else; he was only vaguely aware at the back of his mind that he didn't belong.

After Sirius withdrew Remus watched him reach for his wand, Sirius murmured a silent spell and went on to conjure a clear, glistening fluid that appeared just at his fingertips; after that Sirius returned his attention to Remus, the digits felt warm when he proceeded to slide them just outside the small entrance.  

Ah, there was Moony, his voice came sharp and distinct as in warning; with only one fingertip barely inside, Sirius turned to kiss his thigh and whispered, " _Shh_ , _there's a lad…"_

Remus didn't really calm down. What they did to him before, that was brilliant; this, on the other hand, felt decidedly uncomfortable and invasive, and brought him back to awareness at once.

"Just with my tongue, then?" Sirius asked, his voice issued gentle and compassionate, the way you'd talk to a child; "All right."

Remus didn't reply; he'd calmed down a little when he felt Sirius' tongue on him again, it felt much nicer than with his finger. In truth, he wanted to tell them to stop and to leave him alone _— but it really felt so nice,_ and he realized brokenly that he couldn't tell Sirius to leave even if he’d wanted to.

How could someone who touched you so attentively, so _expertly_ that it felt like he was taking care of you— like he _loved_ you— how could he make you feel so profoundly _wretched_ inside…?

Now that he loved in earnest, Remus found himself wishing he never had come to know what it was to love at all.

 _It's a daft thing_ , he thought, _to believe you've fallen in love just because someone's sucked your cock._

Sirius switched girlfriends— and boyfriends— the way he switched socks, everyone at school knew that; Remus wondered how many people fell for him the way he did, just because he was so good with his tongue.

But, all the while, he didn't ask him to stop; disgusted as he felt with himself, he wanted him to stay and touch him even more, even if Sirius gazed at James all throughout, in the adoring sort of way that a loyal hound regarded his master— even if Sirius would always be closer to James than to him.

It was a bitter anguish he'd not known before.

"You can do it," he murmured weakly; "you can do it with your finger if you want—"

Sirius and James both were taken off guard when he spoke, they turned to face him, one after the next; then, they regarded each other again and James nodded to Sirius.

"Shouldn’t have gone about it like that," he said, "it was too much."

Remus shook his head, "No, I… what bloke doesn't want…"

But Remus wasn’t the one giving instructions.

James' expression appeared unreadable when he said to Sirius, "Thought I told you not to be a cock." He leaned against the wall and absently wiped at his mouth with the back of one hand.

"Kiss him, Pads."

Remus felt decidedly uneasy; he forced a smile, more embarrassed that they felt they had to stop on his account than he'd ever been when they touched him in the first place. "Nothing's wrong, honest," he insisted, "I said you could do it with your finger if you wanted, I know what blokes do together, it's all right—"

But already Sirius had got up from where he’d been lying on the mattress, and Remus found himself following suit, he felt sheepish that his reluctance was given such scrutiny; James regarded him kindly, there he was amicably ruffling his hair, asking if he was all right, reminding him that they’d known each other for years and that he could tell that something was up.

Remus forced a chuckle; he bent his knees and slid his arms around them, Sirius was reaching for his cigarettes when James nodded conclusively.

"Take him out on a proper date, Padfoot," he said.

Remus shot him a stare before even realizing he'd done so; his face went entirely hot.

"Oi—" he sputtered, "wait, I never—"

Sirius’ expression lingered on James for some seconds more, but then he turned dutifully toward Remus; he smiled lightheartedly, like it were the easiest thing in the world, and got one arm around him. _  
_

"Moony," he said, he leaned deliberately close so that he was speaking just at his ear; "Mister Prongs has brought to my attention that I'm to take a bloke out on a _proper date_ before licking his arse."

He snickered; Remus raised his head up from his crossed arms and stared at Sirius with an incredulous smile.

He watched while Padfoot went on after that to light his cigarette and take a long draw. "Ergo…" Sirius said while stretching his legs elegantly; "I'm asking you out on a _proper date_."

"Brilliant," Remus replied, now certain he was being ridiculed; "Classy, you ask everyone out with that line?"

James managed to appear expertly unbothered; "He’s not having a laugh, are you, Pads?"

At that, finally Sirius' smile vanished; "No," he said, "sorry— I really meant it. The date bit."

"Moony," James said while taking the cigarette from Sirius' hand; "this is where you say _yes."_  


_(On to Chapter 9)_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	9. Chapter 9

Up on the wall at Slughorn's class there was a photo depicting the professor along with a handful of students, all beaming politely at the camera. Remus gazed at it absently, he watched photo-Slughorn pat them amicably on the back; the students were nervously grinning, like they were somehow uncomfortable to be there but too well-mannered to act.

And there among them was Regulus Black, Sirius' younger brother, dutifully shaking Slughorn's hand— the _good son_ who'd been everything Sirius was not.

Remus was willing to bet he'd never held a cigarette in his life. Looking at the photo, you could tell they were brothers, Sirius the more handsome of the two but bearing a striking resemblance; Sirius would never wind up in the Slug Club, that was for sure.

They didn't hang out together at school; like proper brothers they each pretended they weren't related at all, and it was a good thing, too, because according to Sirius his brother had a lot of disturbing ideas about blood purity. He's an insufferable little twat, Padfoot had said, and he’d mimick to the others the way Regulus spoke about Death Eaters and the _Dark Lord_ , just to win their parents’ affection.

Maybe Sirius was justified in his resentment, even if he did sound like an arse when he ridiculed him that way; fact of the matter was, Sirius said frightfully malicious things about most of his family. It made you uncomfortable to hear even if you told yourself that he had good reason, because at the end of the day your family was part of who you were.  

It became evident straight away that whatever had gone on between Potter and Black wasn't going on anymore, to the vast disappointment of witches at all houses. They'd been so _dirty_. They'd been so blatant about it, and had pulled it off so well. Lily didn't agree to go out with James when he asked her that week, but she did show unmistakable interest, she tried to ask without being too obvious what it was that had happened between him and Sirius.

James had been on the verge of making some suggestive, arrogant joke that would imply something scandalous, but had thought better of it: whatever he'd tell her would likely propagate through the girls' dorm, and that would be well good if Sirius wasn't currently dating Remus.

He pretended instead to miss her subtle remarks, leaving her frustrated and annoyed, but that's how he liked her: if she didn't get annoyed with him, she wouldn't be Evans, and James believed she must take some sort of dark pleasure in his pursuit.

She went to Sirius, then.

She disliked him at least as much as she disliked James, and he reveled in the opportunity to aggravate her further; it was during a free period at the Great Hall that she approached him, and Sirius grinned without looking up.

"If it isn't Evans," he said; "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

She glared like a petulant child, and didn't even know why. "I can't get answers out of James," she said bluntly.

He snickered, still not looking up from his book. "I'm certain you can get anything you fancy out of James."

"You lot were—"

He rolled his eyes upward from under his hair, blinked once, raised an eyebrow.

She pursed her lips shut.

"Whatever are you on about?" he asked.

" _You bloody well know what I'm on about._ "

Sirius finally turned fully to face her, arms crossed over his chest. He waited for her to go on; she hated him for doing so.

She looked down, then back up, then aside, and then tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. Her voice came hushed and embarrassed when she spoke, "What went on between you?"

"Why are you so interested?"

"I'm not—!"

"Ask James, he'd love to tell you."

"I've asked him already." Not quite. _Not in so many words_.

Sirius brought his hands to the tabletop and slid closer to her, uncomfortably close, so that she scooted farther back; he murmured, "You wanna hear about how he _fucked_ me?"

He deliberately enunciated the word and raised his eyebrows, because that was the rumor, wasn't it, that Sirius _lost it_ to James.

Lily flushed, mouth agape with astonishment; she began to scramble for the proper term to convey denial and disgust and offense all at once, and also to indicate that she'd like to hear more—

" _Did he?"_ she whispered.

Sirius laughed. "Evans, Evans, Evans… why don't you just go out with James?"

"Don't change the subject…!"

"We were just experimenting," he said at last; "he doesn't fancy blokes."

Lily appeared decidedly disappointed. Her eyes searched his face for a few moments before she said, "But it seemed like…"

"It seemed like he did?"

She nodded.

"Look, why are you asking me all this stuff? He'd love to tell you, I'm sure— _in explicit detail.”_

She didn't say anything for some seconds after that, clearly dissatisfied.

"Is he…" she finally asked, voice going very quiet, and she looked around to see if anyone might overhear; " _is he any good?"_

Sirius stared back with complete surprise, he emitted a chuckle of laughter, and she rapidly shushed him, wholly embarrassed by what she'd asked.

"Evans…" he said, now clapping both hands down at the side of the table and leaning close to her; his eyes narrowed and his smile went bright and toothy.

" _Oh, yes, he is good_."

\--

Remus felt mortified when he thought back to all that had happened the other day. But also, there were undeniable pleasurable thrills dancing inside him when he thought back to what getting head had been like; he'd confessed to Sirius with sheepish contentment that he'd liked it a lot, and Sirius chuckled with an amused stare.

"You tit," he said, "of course you _liked it_."

Taking him out on a proper date wasn't straightforward, because the next outing to Hogsmeade wasn't for some time, and they weren't allowed out that far otherwise. Considering the four of them had found a number of secret passages out of the castle, it remained a matter of finding the right time to sneak out when they weren't tied up with other obligations and wouldn't be seen.

By that time, all of Gryffindor house was aware that _Potter is very good_ , and that it was Black who had said so. All of Gryffindor house was also aware that Black was now dating Lupin, but because Sirius had a long history of not staying in relationships for long, witches already were taking bets on how long it would last— perhaps to have something to amuse themselves with now that James and Sirius weren't at it anymore.

Remus was aware of this, too. But, all the while, Padfoot remained the same old Padfoot as he'd known him for years, and friendship went deeper than romantic relationships. Like everyone else, he had noticed that Sirius and James had stopped their dirty games together, and it made him feel guilty— but it was James who had told Sirius to ask him out. Remus almost felt compelled to tell him he was okay with them doing it, if it was just for a laugh, if it was just physical, Evans was the one James actually fancied, after all—

But what sort of wretched relationship did you have if you even fancied snogging someone else…?

"Do you miss it," he asked, absently toying with a plastic shopping bag on their exit from Honeyduke's.

At his side, Sirius walked with his hands in his pockets, his scarf batted lightly while they walked.

"Snogging's not everything," he said, and Remus wondered if it really wasn't, and if that was really all there was between him and James. "Reckon I'll go slow with you, Moony."

Remus watched him while they proceeded along the walkway, his black hair billowing in the wind, and it occurred to him that now that the competition between Sirius and James was over, maybe there no longer was a pressing need to be profane.

"Who says I want to go slow?" he replied; "I've not said I didn't like it."

"You don't say a lot of things."

Remus began to say something, but he realized he'd not been prepared to hear something like this.

"What do you mean?" he asked, and Sirius shrugged. "Did you fancy going out on a date with me?" he said, and Remus gazed down to the earth, where his trainers drew tracks in the mud.

"I'd not thought of it," he replied honestly.

Sirius nodded; he came to a halt, his hair whipping all around his face, hands still in his pockets. Remus stopped as well, he looked back expectantly, unsure of what Sirius had to say but aware it seemed important.

"Did you fancy me?" Sirius asked.

Remus stared back, lips parted, eyes squinting against the wind; the scarf round his neck rustled like a long red and gold snake, and he rubbed his hands together against the cold, looking down.

"Yeah," he finally said, and he went quiet after that.

Sirius made a motion to hold his hands to his sides while they still were in his pockets. "That's what I mean. You don't say anything."

Remus gave a laugh. "You don't just— how many people just—"

"I wouldn't have snogged Prongs if I knew."

Whatever Remus was going to say next never came, his lips froze in the shape of an _O_. He gazed at Sirius for a long time, his hair messily ruffling, scarf still whipping around.

"I thought—" he started, then stopped, then started again, like he were struggling to bring himself to say it outright. "I thought you lot fancied each other—"

Sirius gazed down at the ground, kicking absently into the dirt with the toe of one foot. "Prongs is special," he said.

Remus nodded slowly, unsurprised but no more pleased to hear it outright. "Do you fancy me?" he asked, still squinting as he looked up.

"Wouldn't be here, would I?"

Remus took it in quietly; several seconds had passed before he said, "You'd not said anything, either."

"I'd not thought of it."

"You—"

Sirius raised both hands to his sides, now out of his pockets; he chuckled with childlike innocence when he said, "I don't _fancy_ people, Moony—"

"You've just said—"

"I know what I've just said. You lot are— _special_."

" _We lot_."

"Yes— you, Prongs, and Wormtail."

"You _fancy_ us all."

"Moony…"

What was true was that he really did love them all; they were the real family he'd never had. He realized that dating someone who actually knew him was complicated.

"All right," he sighed, "I reckon I've _fancied_ you since Prongs told me what you asked him in potions. I guess. I don't know."

Remus, who was halfway to lamenting inwardly how much he loathed Sirius, looked up with a curious bout of surprise.

It wasn't convincing. It didn't really make sense, and also, if that were true, it would make Sirius guilty of the same _not saying anything_ he'd accused him of. Most importantly, though, _he'd still snogged James after the fact_.

Remus wanted to be satisfied that Sirius had really asked him out, that he'd really said he'd _fancied_ him, but he felt more compelled to think that _Sirius just didn't fancy people_. All the while, more than anything, he didn't want to lose him to the extent that he'd had him.

He kicked a rock off the path and watched as it skidded and rolled to the side of the road. There was something pleasurable about having him there to himself, even if he didn't like himself for thinking so; the fact remained that you couldn't _make_ someone else love you, and if he fancied Sirius, it wasn't Sirius' fault.

He found himself racking his brain for anything that would justify being upset with him, but found to his own humble astonishment that it was only he, himself, whose feelings had changed, and he couldn't find a good reason to blame Sirius. It occurred to him that Sirius' attitude toward him was a surprise to no one but himself.

It wasn't that Padfoot _disliked_ him: far from it, he was the same amicable friend he'd always known, and Remus found it exasperating, because he couldn't blame him for how wretched he felt. He wanted so much to hear him say anything that would reassure him that _Padfoot was his_ , but it never came.

Remus found himself _not saying stuff_ more than ever before, because he'd become acutely aware of what Sirius _didn't_ feel, and felt mortified by the prospect of having to endure it gently and compassionately explained to him.

He'd already been asleep that night when Sirius climbed in his bed without a word, without underhanded intent beyond that; it warmed his heart to find him there in the morning, long hair disheveled and stubble overgrown, his limbs in a disarrayed tangle all through the sheets. He was grateful for every bit of kindness— though no matter how tightly he held him, he felt that he never could hold him in earnest.

\--

He'd fallen behind on his homework. He'd stayed up routinely to get it done and hadn't slept properly that entire week, he nearly dozed off into his oatmeal one morning when there came the loud flutter of owls flying through with the post. He startled, nearly knocking Wormtail's pumpkin juice aside, but it wasn't because of the owls; Sirius scrambled out of the bench all at once, eyes alight with enthusiasm as he darted after one of the birds, which wasn't flying toward him at all. James gave a cry of delight when he realized what it was about, and now the three of them looked on, as well as several others seated nearby.

Reaching expertly into the air, Sirius caught the poor creature by one leg while it ruffled and cooed in his grasp, and finally released it with a whirl of loose feathers after ripping the note from its foot. _Bollocks_ , Remus thought, and it might have amused him the way it amused Wormtail and Prongs if he'd not felt so crestfallen of late, there Sirius stood with the note held high over his head, Regulus hitting him and pulling his robes while he tried to reach for the letter. Regulus' perfect black hair swayed and he seemed almost childlike, robes swinging, cursing Sirius under his breath with cries of _give it back…!_

James clapped his hands in appreciation, egging Sirius on while he proceeded to orate the letter aloud, complete with embarrassing affections from their mother and concerns about how well Regulus was eating and whether his marks had improved.

It was maliciously dirty, Remus knew, but it stood as a fact that this same owl had not come for Sirius in nearly three years; Remus had turned a blind eye to this sort of bullying for the sake of his friends, but even so, he felt particularly disgusted now.

He didn't see Sirius in some heavenly light; he saw him as he was, complete with all of his flaws— but, even repulsed as he felt, _he thought he loved them, too_.

It wasn't until the next quidditch match that he'd thought of it again; Gryffindor was playing Slytherin and James was at his cockiest, gleaming triumphant in red and gold before ever making his way to the pitch. Already he was explaining gameplay logistics to Lily unnecessarily, under the assumption that she must not already know; she didn't stand for it, no matter how good the entire school already assumed he was in bed— and left for the pitch without him.

As prefect, Remus had left before the others to help properly usher both players and spectators into the pitch, and it was impossible to really feel down when a game was about to go on; the roaring chatter and waving flags and battle chants, even the way the bleachers seemed to take on new life when Mister Chaser Extraordinaire, himself, flew in on his broom.

Remus particularly loved seeing Professor McGonagall come alive with Gryffindor spirit, you'd never guess that just the week before she gave Sirius detention for belching a flawless _Go Gryffindor_ halfway through transfiguration.

He couldn't be angry with Sirius now. His three best mates loitered at the entrance to the pitch by his side as he worked, and it was so much like old times that he'd forgotten anything unpleasant ever happened between them.

"Go on, Prongs," he said, "it's almost time, you're not supposed to be out here." James was about to turn and head over to join his teammates when a few of the Slytherin players rushed in, among them Regulus, who played as Seeker; they were coming in almost late but just barely in time, and Sirius immediately nudged James before expertly holding out his foot and tripping his brother.

Regulus fell to the ground without any of the classical Black grace that Remus came to know in Sirius, and James clapped Sirius on the back with absolute contentment; Regulus got up and dusted himself off, he called a halfhearted _fuck you_ while he rushed off to join his teammates. Peter chuckled in admiration of Sirius' quick reflexes to have tripped him on such short notice.

That sort of taunting was to be expected right before a match, it wasn't anything new; still, it was hardly the first time Sirius had bullied his brother unprovoked.

Almost as though by karma, Gryffindor went on to lose the match; it was a particularly low blow because Regulus had scored Slytherin the win, he’d caught the snitch just an arm's length ahead of Gryffindor's Seeker.

Slytherin burst into song, roaring through the pitch about what a pile of rubbish Gryffindor was, and it was particularly aggravating for James, who had scored a large number of goals on his own, only to see it all go to waste in the end. They all were in a rotten mood filing out, Remus still was away with the other prefects ushering students while Peter and Sirius waited for him and James.

"That was utter bollocks," Sirius said, "they'd hardly scored any goals…!"

"Utter bollocks," Peter replied, he shook his head sadly.

There were Slytherins walking past, still singing to Gryffindor's demise, among them a small crowd in silver and green in a ring around Regulus, chanting and cheering as they went.

" _That little twat_ ," Sirius muttered, but he made no move to have at him then; it was only when James had joined them a moment after the fact that Mulciber shouted about what a massive bellend James was, and that his game was _utter shite_.

"Say that again, Mulciber…!" James scowled, he stepped closer and grit his teeth; his cape whipped around him, face still damp with exertion from after the game. Mulciber stepped close to James, about to say more when Regulus walked out from the crowd. "They're sore losers, the lot of them,” _he said, “_ _mudbloods and half-breeds—"_

It wasn't James who hit him then; Remus didn't know what the commotion was about till he found the roaring crowd, closed in a ring around something flailing and struggling. James and Peter cheered on, and it wasn't until Remus had waded through toward them that he found Regulus entirely immobilized beneath Sirius, who had straddled his waist and was beating him the way only brothers beat each other up.

Both were bleeding, Sirius' hair swung disheveled and Regulus' cape was entirely ground in the dirt, and no one was helping, the Gryffindors in particular were egging him on; rows broke out after matches, that was nothing new, and who _didn't_ feel shite after losing a game, and this clearly was something between brothers— but Remus felt sick all the same.

He thought he'd looked the other way enough. He reached forth and gripped Sirius by the arm, and muttered through clenched teeth that he'd gone completely mental; however, by this point Sirius already was too far gone in the fight, he shook him off without noticing.

James protested, he shouted to Remus that Regulus had had it coming for months, that it was nothing short of what he’d deserved; Remus stood uselessly in place for several moments before proceeding to push his way back out of the crowd. He went to get McGonagall.

All the bitterness and frustration he'd felt toward Sirius in the past weeks had come to surface: he hated him, he hated him for how he’d inadvertently made him suffer, he realized he wanted so much to see him hurt that he reveled darkly in this opportunity to find him at genuine fault.

He was a traitor, he knew, he felt guilty all the while, because James and Peter also saw, and they all knew what would come after that: the last time a row broke out, students were nearly suspended. Remus had heard plenty about what kind of person Regulus was, but seeing him bruised and beaten on the ground, just because he'd won Slytherin the match, entirely overpowered by Sirius with nobody trying to help—

_It was sick._

Remus wasn't the Slytherin prefect, but he was the one to take Regulus to see Madam Pomfrey after the fact, maybe in revenge, maybe out of spite, maybe deliberately to make Sirius suffer—

In truth, Sirius didn't walk away unscathed. They both had scratches, both were bleeding, and even if it _was_ a match between brothers— likely far from the first or the last— Regulus was hardly walking straight by the time they'd made their way to the ward. Sirius had also been bruised, but not badly enough to require treatment.

Remus felt rotten all around; he was repulsed by how raw and grotesque the fight had been from close up, embarrassed for both of them, and he felt horribly guilty for being the one to report Sirius. He thought he hated Sirius for how cruel he had been— not toward his brother, or Severus, or Lily, or anyone else he’d picked on— but how cruel he was toward him by not loving him back, without ever meaning to be cruel at all.

He sat at the bedside, gazing absently at the yellow afternoon sunlight while he waited for Madam Pomfrey to finish fussing over Regulus, so that she could fill out the forms he was to take back to Slughorn; he felt a traitor through and through.

There were students from Slytherin hurrying in; they'd not helped Regulus during the fight, but now that he was there they'd come to see him and congratulate him for the win, and worry that he'd gotten hurt. Remus wished Pomfrey would leave the responsibility of taking the forms to one of them instead, because he didn't want to be there. But he was prefect, after all, so Pomfrey forbade the others from coming in and crowding the patient, and a number of them stood out at the door.

"Thanks," Regulus said spontaneously, and Remus was taken off guard; he had spent the past minutes staring out the window at the good weather they'd had for a change. He turned his gaze toward him, hands resting idly in his lap, and felt tired and irritable and overall lousy.

It was the first thing Regulus had said since Remus brought him in.

Remus regarded him curiously, uncertain what to say in response; he'd never thought much of Sirius' brother, apart from how he presumably was a _massive prat_ , and from the frightening things Sirius said he believed in so openly. He had a bruise on one eye that was gradually swelling up, and there was a dark red cut at his bottom lip— but, other than that, his likeness to Sirius was more striking than Remus had noticed before.

"You're welcome," he finally said, impatient to be out of there and not have to talk to anyone for a long time.

"Lupin, is it," Regulus asked; "you're dating my brother."

Remus stared back with intrigue; the way information traveled at their school, it wasn't surprising that everyone knew— still, though, hearing it directly from someone you didn't know felt unsettling. Remus didn't reply; he felt enough of a traitor already. After all he'd heard about Regulus during the past years, he felt no desire to engage him in conversation.

He was surprised, then, by how timid he was; he didn't seem cocky or arrogant the way everyone from Gryffindor perceived everyone from Slytherin to be, and Remus reminded himself of all the things Sirius said that his brother believed in, even if he seemed gentle from close up. He didn't expect what came next.

"What's he like, then? Is he nice?"

It was an odd thing to ask; "What's he like? Your own brother?"

"He's a knobhead toward me, clearly, but what's he really like?"

_He's really a knobhead toward me, too_ , Remus thought bitterly, even if Sirius had treated him with kindness; he'd made him suffer either way.

It was utter rubbish, trying to pass off that he really didn't know his brother— but it struck Remus that there was unmistakable longing in Regulus' voice. Even fresh at the aftermath of a row, he wasn't on about Sirius with the same sort of loathing that Remus had come to know well on Sirius' part; it occurred to Remus that _Regulus_ _looked up_ _to Sirius_ _._

He was entirely different. He had none of the quietly seductive, bold air that Sirius had, though he looked so remarkably similar; even with the bandages on, Remus could tell that he was built in the same elegant form, graceful and slender, the same silky hair—

But Remus had the distinct impression that Regulus didn't resent his brother the way he did now, himself, even after Sirius had treated Regulus far worse; he was overcome with bitterness he didn't fully understand.

Without ever meaning to, he was suddenly telling Regulus all the things he didn't tell Sirius and James, about how wretched he felt, how profoundly aware he was of being _left out_ , how even now that Sirius began to date him, the only person he'd ever really fancy was obviously James, and how, worst of all, despite that, despite everything, _he had fallen hopelessly in love with Sirius,_ and it was something exhausting and unrelenting that had him completely tormented, and which he couldn't will away—

He was embarrassed by his outburst but also unexpectedly relieved, all the rotten things that happened that day had left him emotionally exhausted; and now that it all was irreversibly out in the air between them, he was uncomfortably reminded that Regulus was the one badly injured.

Regulus regarded him quietly for a long time, overwhelmed after hearing far more intimate things than he'd expected; he slowly sat up in bed, accommodating to the bandages and discomfort of having to move. There was a bit of Sirius' gaze in his eyes, despite the bruise, and his hand was infinitely gentle when he tugged at Remus' arm.

From somewhere down the hall there emanated the distant tick of a clock; there came the discordant voices of Slytherin students still visible out by the door.

Regulus pulled Remus toward him, his long arms came round his back with the tentative softness of a child— and even though they never knew each other he held him carefully without saying a word.  
  
  
_(On to Chapter 10)_  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	10. Chapter 10

Sirius sat outside McGonagall's office, arms crossed defiantly, glaring at nothing in particular on the wall across the way; there still was a dried cut on his cheek, and bruises along his arms and abdomen that weren't visible with his robes on, now going a dark shade of purple two days after the fight.

Inside the office nearby, McGonagall was meeting with his parents after what she'd said was _a_ _very serious offense_ on his part, and for which appropriate measures should be taken; it was rare to have your parents summoned to school, and nothing good could come of it considering Regulus already was _the good son_ and Sirius the bad.

If he could do it over, he'd do it exactly the same way.

He regretted nothing about beating his stupid brother up; if anything, he was sorry he had to stop partway through because McGonagall showed up suddenly.

He didn't get to tell her what Regulus had said about _half-breeds_ , how that had been the last straw that had made Sirius finally lash out: there were indeed a few witches and wizards at Gryffindor House who were half human and half something else, but none of them had to hide it the way Remus did, because the _something else_ they half-were was not _wolf_.

It was a good thing Remus hadn’t been there to hear his brother's malicious remark, Sirius knew how self-conscious Moony already was about his _furry little problem_.

Moony, he'd realized, had not had it easy of late. He thought back to the start of second year, when the four of them, still small and puffy-faced with the end of childhood, had sat together on the Hogwarts Express; it was an exasperatingly dull seven hours to Hogwarts, far too long for four twelve-year-old boys to sit still. They'd been loud and obnoxious the entire ride, pushing each other and throwing food out the window, and sticking gum on the undersides of seats, he remembered with a smile how he'd wrestled Remus on the cabin floor, and had got both of them in trouble before the school year even began.

Remus had been a good sport about it; far from upset that they'd been reprimanded, he was glad to be included along. It occurred to Sirius now how odd such a thing was, considering Remus had always tried very hard to be well-behaved and _good._

He was vaguely aware he hadn't made Remus very happy of late.

Farther down along the bench there sat another student awaiting his turn to be chewed out, but by the head of house at Ravenclaw. He had very light shoulder-length hair and his legs were crossed up on the bench, brightly-colored socks visible just at the end of his robes; he wasn't wearing shoes. He was staring oddly at a silver contraption held between his hands, humming softly to himself.

"I'm here for cheating on a test," he informed Sirius spontaneously without being prompted; Sirius blinked in surprise.

The blond boy didn't seem particularly bothered about being in trouble, and merely continued playing with the item in his hands.

"I didn't really cheat, though," he said; "They just think I did, because they didn't know I was approached by a wrackspurt, who engaged me in conversation during the test. They're invisible, you see…"

Sirius stared at him for several seconds without saying a word; he'd never heard of a wrackspurt before. This guy was clearly mental.

He had no desire to talk to him. He hated that his parents were there just beyond the door; they didn't come alone, but along with half of his extended family, as though to make a point that Sirius indeed was the odd man out.

He was certain that Bellatrix would love to see him expelled; she didn't show up, though, but Narcissa did, together with her fiancé, Lucius Malfoy. It was an added humiliation that they had shown up. McGonagall had the good grace to ask the rest of them to wait outside and that only his parents come in, and Sirius glared living fire at Lucius while he watched him and his cousin walk off.

As he gazed aside at the Ravenclaw boy, he noticed that his socks were divided at the toes, and that each toe was a different color. "What happened to your shoes?" he asked, and, without looking up, the boy replied, "Nargles."

_Mental, clearly._

"Are you here because of the fight?"

Sirius' interest was piqued. "Beg your pardon?"

"The fight, everyone knows. It's too bad Gryffindor lost, really…"

Sirius regarded him quietly for several moments before finally saying, "Yeah, too bad."

He felt conflicted between wanting to be left alone and wondering who this guy was and just how much _everyone knew_ about his fight with Regulus.

"Well, I don't expect it should turn out badly for you, you lot always get away with mischief, don't you?"  
  
Sirius was only surprised momentarily; he was aware that, by that year, everyone knew who the school's most popular troublemakers were.

"Word gets around," he said bitterly.

"Oh, yes. But at least it's not about all that stuff from before, wouldn't you agree?"

Sirius was starting to get very annoyed.

"Yup," he said with impatience, arms crossed as he leaned back on the bench, staring up defiantly at the ceiling with one leg jittering irritably. He was starting to wish McGonagall would just call him in already.

"Cause, all those rumors—" the boy said vaguely, "I imagine they must really have hurt that bloke you're dating—"

The door to the Ravenclaw office came ajar, and the head of house stepped out.

"Xenophilius Lovegood?"

Sirius watched as the blond boy hopped down from the bench, the silver contraption swinging from one of his hands as he proceeded unbothered into the office, still in his socks.

\--

His meeting with McGonagall didn't go well. He glared defiantly at her the entire time, minding his manners but making a silent point of being upset; he had good reason to get in a fight with Regulus, and _of course_ his parents would take his brother's side, he was willing to bet that his mother was all too delighted to come in and see him in trouble so that she could say _he'd always been like that._

There was no humor in McGonagall's face. She wasn't going to let him off the hook this time, and while she hardly reveled in indulging his parents with stories of all that their son had done wrong, she was visibly angry with this sort of violence. She told Sirius that she and the headmaster will discuss his possible suspension. She said he should know that his mother had brought up the possibility of transferring him to Durmstrang.

Sirius' nonchalant attitude vanished at that, he began protesting loudly about how unfair it was, and that it was only because his parents hated him and adored Regulus, and that he was a stupid little prat anyway; McGonagall's hands came down hard on the desktop as she stood up.

" _Mister_ Black," she seethed; "have you any idea how badly your brother was injured? You might have suffered worse consequences if Mister Lupin hadn't come to get me when he did."

He didn't hear anything she said after that.

His face blanched completely; _Moony_ told on him? All this happened because of _Moony_ _…?_

That couldn't be right. There must be some misunderstanding. Something malicious as that was not in Remus' good nature, Sirius felt a sudden, desperate urge to speak with Remus, or with James or with Peter, to try to understand what it was really about; he spent the rest of the meeting trying to remember exactly all that had happened that day, Moony had tried to stop him during the fight…

He was suddenly reminded of what Xeno had said, _all those rumors must have really hurt that bloke you're dating_ — was Moony angry at him because of that? But those rumors had come to rest not too long ago, so why was Remus upset now…? Either way, he'd never mentioned that they’d bothered him…

He was impatient to be out of McGonagall's office. As soon as he was back out in the hall, he put his bag down on the bench and proceeded to rummage inside for his mirror, the one he used to talk to James sometimes when they were stuck in separate rooms for detention.

He walked briskly down the hall until he was far from the offices before holding it out again, and it took a few tries calling James' name before his face appeared in the mirror.

"What's up, Pads?" James asked; "You look shite."

"I feel shite," came the reply, and Sirius went on to tell him everything that happened— about how his parents were called in, and how he might be suspended because presumably Regulus was pretty badly injured— and how his parents want to have him transferred to Durmstrang.

James' face paled at the last bit, where clearly he felt just as much in shock as Sirius had; he started going on about how _but that's bollocks,_ and _they can't do that_ , and _how can they do that_ , and _he provoked you, mate, that wasn't your fault_ —

And, like Sirius, he felt every bit as astonished to hear that it was _Moony_ who had told; he didn't believe it. He said that it couldn't be right, that it had to be some kind of misunderstanding, they had to ask Remus, he would never do something like that…

Sirius was in terrible form when he made his way up the stairwell to Gryffindor Tower, feeling exhausted and confused and betrayed, and also overcome with a suffocating sense of despair under the weight of all that was to happen. There was no way he'd let them send him off to Durmstrang. He was still underage so he had no say in it, but there was no way he'd let them do it, he'd run away before they could make him…

He made his way through the portrait hole deflated and cross, and the last thing, _the last thing_ he needed to see at that time was bloody Lily Evans, who pulled him aside in that irritating way that girls pulled people aside when there was something they just _had_ to know.

"Piss off," he told her, "I'm _really_ not in the mood—"

"No— _listen_ —" she said, and her voice rang with something that sounded dangerously like concern; she quickly glanced around and began to speak in hushed tones.

"There's something you ought to know—"

He really, _really_ didn't need to know anything more at that time— but the way she stared at him made it evident it wasn't something he could avoid.

" _What,"_ he asked with a great deal of exasperation; a very bad feeling was welling up in his gut.

"Now— don't get angry—" she whispered, her eyes warily searched his face; she was very worried about something. "It might not be true— but people are saying that a number of students from Slytherin saw Remus kiss Regulus—"

Sirius went quiet for a long time. He couldn't quite process what she'd said.

She continued to stare at him with concern he could hardly endure, like she were trying to see whether he understood.

" _What?_ _"_ he finally asked.

"It might not be true— but that's what people said. Supposedly a number of students all saw…"

Sirius shook his head. "No, that's bullshit,” he muttered, "that's utter rubbish—"

He pushed past her and started making his way briskly toward the boys' dorm; he felt too stunned to really understand. It all felt like something out of a nightmare, everything he'd heard made him feel like he didn't know his best mate at all, it couldn't be Moony, none of it, _it couldn't be._

He thought back to all their nights at the Shack together as animals, how the four of them would curl to sleep at each other’s side; he thought of their jokes during class, and their pranks, and how desperately he'd looked forward to starting school every year, to get away from home and see his three best friends again.

Had Remus secretly loathed him all along? Had he done something to hurt him so badly that he'd really betray him this way?

Again he was reminded of what Xeno Lovegood had said, _those rumors must really have hurt him_ — had Remus decided to take revenge by cheating on him with his brother? But that _couldn't_ be. There had to be some mistake, that wasn't like Moony at all…

His heart raced as he strode down the hall to their dorm room, hoping he'd find Remus there and not knowing what he'd do if he didn't— he felt desperate to talk to him, desperate to clear things up, he had to know what it was all about…

Remus didn't look up when he came in. He had his back to the door, reading at his desk, one hand moving quietly with a quill. Sirius stood in place with his hand on the doorknob, pulse still racing, face still pale.

"Is it true?" he deadpanned; his voice came weak and hoarse, foreign even to him.

Remus didn't reply; Sirius could see that his body had frozen in place, as though he were afraid.

He walked lightheaded toward him and stood at the side of his desk. Remus looked up slowly.

" _Is it true? Did you kiss Regulus?"_

It was only a rumor. Remus never would do such a thing, they'd only hugged; but he didn't deny it. He'd heard the rumor, too. Seeing Sirius like this made him a little afraid, but his resentment gave him strength; he put his quill down and turned partway around in his chair, glaring at Sirius.

"So that bothers you, does it?" he asked in dangerously quiet tones; "What about you and Prongs?"

" _What about me and Prongs?_ _"_

Sirius was practically shaking with bewilderment and anger, and also with fear, because this sort of answer, this meant it really was true—

"What about me and Prongs…!" he insisted, " _Prongs and I haven't done anything since—_ "

"You wanted to," Remus said, now hungrily relishing in the pleasure of finally telling him outright; " _I don't fancy people, Moony_ , except _Prongs is special_ — do you think I'm daft?"

Sirius stared with mute astonishment, slowly shaking his head; his own words had come back to hurt him with cruelty he'd never intended them to have.

"Merlin's beard, Moony…! That's not—"

"Yes it is, don't pretend that it isn't. It's always been _Padfoot and Prongs_ , hasn't it? You only asked me out because he told you to."

" _Moony—_ "

"And you know what else? You're a right arse, Padfoot, you had no reason to pick on Regulus like that, what's he done to you?"

" _What's he_ — _Moony_ —"

Now Remus' pulse was racing fast, too, now that he'd told Sirius something that would surely make him angry; but he didn't hold back. All his bitterness and heartache came forth, and he knew this was risky, but he couldn't resist now that finally Sirius cared how he felt.

"You should see the shape you got him in," he said; "really, Padfoot, it was too much, _fuck's sake, he's a much nicer person than you."_

He went too far. Sirius stared mutely for a long time, feeling himself go lightheaded again. How did it come to this? Moony, _his_ Moony, how could he possibly think something like that?

"You don't mean that," he murmured, but Remus didn't reply.

They stared each other down in silence, listening to the vague shouts of students mucking about somewhere outside.

"So that's how it is," Sirius nodded and looked aside; he brushed one hand through his hair. "That's how it is, you fancy bloody Regulus."

Remus stayed quiet for a long time. Somewhere inside, his heart was bleeding. He loved Sirius, but he completely hated him all the while.

"You suddenly care who I fancy?" he asked.

\--

Remus' heart still was going fast when he'd been left alone in the room. He leaned back in his chair, staring absently out the window and feeling absolutely rotten. Sirius _deserved_ it. It made Remus angry that he felt guilty despite that.

Why was Sirius allowed to love James while he dated him, but then he got angry when he heard about him and Regulus? He was probably only upset because he hated his brother so much— and _why_ he actually hated him, Remus wasn't even sure.

Regulus really _was_ a lot nicer. Remus thought back to all the times he'd seen Sirius bully him, and how he'd let it pass out of loyalty to his friends— but now that he thought of it, it had been completely uncalled for. He was somehow embarrassed that he’d really had the nerve to bring it up outright.

But despite his resentment, he felt profoundly pained for what he'd done. It was an encompassing, penetrating hurt that was longing and desperation all the while, he felt that he wanted badly to go to him and hold him and tell him that he loved him, and that he was _so, so sorry_ — and he hated himself for feeling this way.

_It was what Sirius deserved._

He still wallowed in the strange satisfaction of his own agony when James came quietly in; there came a rustling as he pulled his bag down and then placed it by his bed, and then he walked gradually to Remus. It seemed they were all feeling shite.

James sat down slowly on Remus' bed and regarded him quietly for several moments; Remus didn't look back.

"It's not true, in case you're wondering," he said; "I didn't kiss Regulus."

James nodded softly. "I didn't believe you would, mate," he said; "you don't kiss a lot of people."

Remus might have found it offensive if he wasn't so relieved that James believed him; he turned to look his way.

"Moony," James said, and Remus could tell by his voice that there was something heavy on his mind, like he really wanted to be gentle but had a hard time convincing himself. "Look, I can understand that you probably meant well, as prefect and all— or that, because it was a pretty bad row…"

Remus slowly sat up; it dawned on him that this wasn't about the kissing bit at all. The way James was suspiciously fighting for patience was somehow disturbing.

He frowned; "What are you…?"

James' long fingers played idly in his lap. "McGonagall says you were the one to report Sirius?"

Remus went quiet for a few seconds; then he felt anger well in him again. He already felt a traitor for doing so, but he knew that he _shouldn't_ feel this way: were they really trying to make a traitor of him when a student was badly enough hurt to require treatment on the ward…?

"Yeah, I got McGonagall," he said with annoyance; "and it was a good thing, too, Padfoot would've killed him—"

James nodded again.

"Look, Moony—" he said; "you know you lot are my best friends, you and Pads and Wormtail— you know I don't like seeing you all this way—"

Remus said nothing. There was some sharp remark at the tip of his tongue about how he knew that James was going to stick up for Sirius, and it would be no surprise— but he didn't speak.

"You probably meant well, is what I'm saying," James went on; "but you should know, Padfoot's parents came in today, they want to have him transferred to Durmstrang—"

"Good," Remus said straight away; "It's his fault, anyway, for being a cock."

It hadn't really sunk in, and, either way, Remus didn't believe it: there was no way that they'd transfer Padfoot with only one and a half years to go, and after he'd got himself in trouble so many times in the past and walked away unscathed—

Remus was a timid guy overall. He didn't get angry. He didn't tell you stuff. He gladly took second seat to his too-cool best mates, if they'd just let him in on their plans, and he kept his feelings inside.

_But this was just too unfair, James defending Sirius after Sirius loved James instead of him._

"Don't even think you'll make me feel bad for reporting him because of that," he said, and he kicked the leg of his desk; "I'm tired of covering up for him, he's treated me like dirt all along and…"

"He's treated you like dirt?"

Remus glared; "Of course _you_ would take his side…!" He turned fully to face him. "What, did you think I'd run out of here crying, ashamed of myself— _oh, no, what have I done, I've had the balls to report Padfoot and now because of me he's being transferred…!_ – Fuck you, it's not because of _me_. He got _himself_ transferred."

James sighed and hung his head in defeat.

"Moony," he asked, " _why_ are you so angry at Padfoot?"

Remus stared back incredulously. "Why? _Why?"_ He huffed with a dry bark of laughter and leaned back in his chair; " _Don't pretend you don't know why…!_ _"_

James regarded him for a long time, mouth open partway, hands resting idly in his lap. "All right," he finally said; "Yeah, I get you."  
  
  
_(On to Chapter 11)  
_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	11. Chapter 11

James sat deflated at the Great Hall that evening, staring down at his charms book without reading a word; at his side Peter had dozed off into his own crossed arms, the only one of his three best mates who had wanted company. He wondered how they'd got themselves into this mess, but even best friends got into terrible arguments sometimes. James, himself, could never be completely selfless when it came to Sirius: you don't just give up someone you love, no matter how much it may hurt someone else.

You can't  _make_ yourself stop loving; he was only human, after all.

It all became frightfully complicated. There was Evans over at the Slytherin table, sat beside Snivellus Snape; James was too put out to even harass him proper. He twirled his wand with an air of disinterest and debated inwardly on a good spell to prank him, but his heart wasn't in it. He thought of how different his feelings were toward Lily versus Padfoot: _Padfoot_ _was_ _really_ _so_ _much_ _nicer_. Well— toward _him_ , anyway. James was aware that Lily reserved special animosity toward him and Sirius, and that she was likely a very nice witch toward others, like, for example, Snivelly. He thought, in a way, that he liked her for not being nice; it was a sort of cruelty that made him feel special.

At his side, Peter was drooling serenely onto the sleeve of his robe, his blond hair scattered over the tabletop; James watched him for several seconds whilst trying to decide on a good spell to prank Snape. It would be more fun if Padfoot was there, so they could prank him together… He sighed and cast a half-assed _expelliarmus_ on Severus' quill, and even Severus seemed unimpressed while he turned partway around in order to collect his quill from the floor; Lily regarded James from over one shoulder and shook her head irritably, and James waved with a smile, but even that wasn't satisfying.

His attention was piqued when he noticed someone walking toward them, and he realized unpleasantly that it was Lucius Malfoy; what was _he_ doing there? Lucius had been the Slytherin prefect during their first year at school, but he'd graduated two years after that; Sirius had told them that he'd dated Narcissa, and that it had been a _real pain_ to endure his presence at Christmas and during the summer holiday. Things had got even worse, he'd said, when they had got engaged and Lucius had practically joined the family— as he was every bit as insufferable as Naricssa, herself. _A_ _match_ _made_ _in_ _heaven_ , Padfoot would mutter, and then he'd complain that the two had spent too much time at his house and not enough at Malfoy Manor.

James didn't quite remember what Lucius had looked like back then, but he did remember his near-white blond hair, which now trailed halfway down his back; Severus looked up while he approached, apparently not quite as surprised to find him there as James was, and Lily appeared uneasy when he sat at Severus' side. James frowned and wished he could hear what they were saying; at one point, both Severus and Lucius turned their heads toward him (James waved and smiled again) before Lucius shook his head and went on to pull out his wand.

He didn't try to spell James, however; he cast a cleaning spell on Severus' clothes, where ink had spilled earlier when he'd scrambled after his quill. Severus gazed down at his own robe, where now Lucius was straightening his collar and tie, as though he still were a fifth-year prefect and Severus a first-year student. James watched this transpire with mild disinterest while resting his head on the palm of one hand, until he noticed that now, despite her blatant dislike of Lucius, Lily was watching the two Slytherins intently.

At that moment, he realized two things: first off, Lucius was probably there as part of Sirius' extended family who'd come to meet with McGonagall; and, second, Severus was likely entirely oblivious that being tended to this way by another boy was earning him more points with Evans than following her around for years ever did.

_Who_ _cares,_ James thought, _he_ _'_ _s_ _only_ _here_ _for today;_ _Padfoot_ _and_ _I_ _were_ _at_ _it_ _much_ _longer_.

Still, it irritated him to see Lily intrigued by someone else this way, and Snivellus in particular— and considering all James had heard from Sirius about the Malfoys and blood purity, he wondered how Lily could be watching at all. Did she not realize how much into all that bollocks Lucius was…?

_He_ _'_ _s_ _not_ _all that_ _fit_ _anyway_ , James thought, before he realized he was checking out another bloke. _This_ _was_ _definitely_ _Padfoot_ _'_ _s_ _bad_ _influence_.

He did feel a bout of newfound motivation to prank Snivelly, however; maybe it was time for an old favorite. He pulled out his wand and directed it toward Severus' back, and called," _Levicorpus_ _…_ _!"_ But Lucius was too quick for him; he gripped Snape round the shoulder and pulled him down, so that the spell missed. _"Balls,"_ James muttered, but before he could do more his own wand was knocked out of his hand by a loud _"Expelliarmus_ _…!"_

Peter had startled awake and began gazing around in confusion, a wet stream of drool still at his chin; James glared at Lucius while he pushed himself back from the bench in order to pick up his wand. Lily regarded him with combined contentment and surprise, actually smiling, while Severus slowly straightened himself, and appeared sheepish and embarrassed to have needed help.

What, James wondered, would he do if Sirius were transferred? Would he be stuck pranking Snivellus alone for the remainder of his time at school? He made a mental note of getting Snape again the following morning, when he'd be by himself, but realized it just wasn't as much fun. He sat back down on the bench with Peter, who now was slowly gazing at a watch he had on a chain inside his robe, and murmuring about _How_ _long_ _was_ _I_ _out...?_

"I dunno," James replied, "twenty minutes?"

He continued to gaze at Evans, still thinking about Padfoot, and also about Moony.

Both of them had wanted to be left alone that night, and while he believed that Sirius had said so out of guilt toward Remus, James couldn't help but sympathize; after all Remus had said, Prongs sticking around to console and comfort Padfoot would only make things worse for Moony. And Moony would be right: James would have loved to stick around in order to console and comfort Sirius just then, he couldn't help himself. In truth, however, he would have liked to be there for Remus, too, but Remus would have none of it. So there James was, revising with Peter, staring at Lily and Snivellus and Lucius.

"Oi, Evans…!" he shouted, "Gryffindor table's right here…!"

Severus started to turn toward James, but Lily nudged him and shook her head; this was rubbish, ever since he and Sirius stopped, he no longer had her interest.

\--

Sirius was suspended from school for two weeks.

He was very blatantly unhappy about it, and wished to be anywhere else in the world other than the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black; he was shown little sympathy, however, because while a prank had its charm, violence did not— even if it were violence against a blood purity prat like his daft little brother.

"It's only suspension," Remus had said without looking up from his schoolwork, but James could tell that he was conflicted inside; Remus still didn't believe that Sirius' mother would really have him transferred— or so he'd told himself.

Sirius, for one, was purely unhappy; while he hadn't brought it up again, his heart pained at the thought of Moony kissing his brother, even more so when he thought of how Remus had said that it was _just_ _like_ _him_ _and_ _Prongs_. Had Moony thought he'd kissed Prongs behind his back?

_You_ _wanted_ _to,_ Remus had said, and Sirius had denied it straight away— but somewhere at the back of his mind he knew better. Did he want to? All those years when James, for all intents and purposes, had been decidedly straight, _did_ _he_ _want_ _to?_

And all those mornings when he'd wake up at the Shack, still a dog, curled on the mattress beside Remus— who was human and asleep and naked as the day he was born—

_did_ _he_ _want_ _to_ _…_ _?_

Yes, he'd wanted to transform back and—

and what…?

He was to be taken home the next morning, and had refused to pack his things, he glared angrily at the canopy of his bed while he lay down and played with an empty cigarette box. He'd have to make sure to smoke plenty of these while at home, in every room in the house; really, though, the thought of going back had him very deflated. He envisioned his parents visiting Regulus on the ward and listening to him cry about the traumatic experience he'd endured.

_He_ _'_ _s_ _a_ _much_ _nicer_ _person_ _than_ _you_ , Remus had said, and the betrayal pierced through Sirius like a knife; he wondered if Remus would say so if he'd heard what his brother had said about half-bloods and werewolves.

Now on his last night at school for a while, he wished that Moony would talk to him, but the anger was too fresh in Remus' mind; he had seemed still shaken up from their argument before, and James had glanced at him sympathetically and had asked them both to come out with him and Peter— but Remus had declined, and then Sirius declined, as well.

Sirius huffed at the injustice that now even the most innocent things he could be doing with Prongs felt like betrayal against Moony: whatever happened to the four of them being the greatest of friends…?

He pretended to be asleep when he heard the door open, it sounded like Peter and James had come back; there came the rustling of bags and footsteps in the room, the opening and shutting of drawers… they were speaking in hushed tones, probably thinking he's asleep, and soon he could tell even with his eyes shut that the lights had gone out. There came a faint _lumos_ while James produced a dim light with his wand, in order to navigate through the dark room. Remus still hadn't returned.

Sirius wondered if he was back on the ward, meeting with Regulus, the two of them bonded by mutual loathing for him, both being _so_ _nice_ to each other. He tried to imagine what the next full moon would be like: would Remus ask James not to bother coming along? Or perhaps would it be the stag and the rat, just no dog?

It was dreadfully depressing; he'd always thought of his friends as his _real_ _family_ , but now it felt like this _real_ _family_ had all but fallen apart. There came a weight on his mattress, he realized that James had come to sit down at his side; he felt compelled in part to open his eyes and talk to him, and in part to wait and see if James kissed him— and also, he wanted to ask, _where_ _'_ _s_ _Moony_ , and _can_ _we_ _please_ _stop_ _all_ _this_ _nonsense,_ and _I_ _love_ _all_ _three_ _of_ _you,_ _why_ _does_ _it_ _have_ _to_ _be_ _this_ _way_ _…_ _?_

" _Padfoot_ ," James whispered, " _You_ _asleep,_ _mate?"_

He really wanted to reply that he wasn't, but he held his tongue; James waited a few moments more. " _It_ _'_ _s_ _just_ _two_ _weeks,_ _mate_ ," he whispered, " _if_ _they_ _still_ _decide_ _to_ _send_ _you_ _to_ _Durmstrang,_ _there_ _'_ _s_ _no_ _way_ _we_ _'_ _d_ _let_ _them,_ _we_ _'_ _ll_ _do_ _something,_ _you_ _'_ _ll_ _see_ _…_ "

A few moments more passed, and then the weight on the mattress gave way while James began to stand up; " _Where_ _'s_ _Moony?"_ Sirius murmured, and James hesitated.

"Thought you was asleep," he said, his voice went from a whisper to a low speaking tone; Sirius replied, "No, I'm awake."

"Oh, well— I don't know," James lied, because he knew that Remus indeed had gone to the ward; Regulus was now doing a little better, but he still was bandaged and not in proper form to go.

"You're a terrible liar," Sirius laughed softly, but he didn't pursue the matter beyond that; his heart ached that he couldn't be with all three of his friends on his last night there for a while. He genuinely missed Remus, but anything he thought to say to him now would sound trite and daft.

He and James talked for a little while longer before they finally turned in, and James reminded Sirius to take his mirror along so that they could talk; he'd told him that pranking Snivelly by himself just hadn't been the same… Peter, who had listened in, called sleepily from across the room, _Stay_ _strong,_ _Padfoot,_ and also _Will_ _be_ _shite_ _without_ _you_ _here._

After that, Sirius stayed in his bed in the darkness, still in his day clothes, still wide awake even when his body grew tired; he waited and wondered how late it was, and why it was that Remus still hadn't returned. Was he really so profoundly upset? Was he not going to see him off at all, would he stay the night with Regulus, just to hurt him back? He'd thought how gentle and good-natured Remus had been, how he was a little ticklish when he'd touched him, how when James had kissed Sirius, Remus had said, _I_ _want_ _to_ _do_ _that,_ _too_ —

It occurred to him how much something like that must have hurt. It occurred to him that he should have realized when Remus asked James about him in potions that _he_ _'_ _d_ _already_ _been_ _hurt_ _at_ _that_ _time._ When he thought in that light of the things he'd said to Remus at Hogsmeade, he shrank with a bout of regret; it was he who'd asked Remus if he'd fancied him, but even after Remus had admitted that he did, Sirius said that he _didn_ _'_ _t_ _fancy_ _people_ , himself.

Moony didn't tell you stuff, but Sirius hadn't figured, himself, that he'd been unintentionally cruel toward one of his best friends. Why did it have to be _either_ Moony _or_ Prongs, when Sirius loved them both...?

It wasn't for another hour or so that at last the door to their room came unlocked, and he listened to the sound of footsteps while Remus stepped in; Sirius watched every move in the darkness, the way he pulled down his bag, how he began to fumble with the fastens of his robe, the way his nimble fingers quickly unraveled his tie— he was so distinctly _Moony_ that Sirius could almost forget that they weren't just best mates as usual, and that he couldn't call out some joke or casual remark. _Oi,_ _Moony,_ _out_ _past_ _curfew_ _without_ _the_ _rest_ _of_ _us_ _…_ _?_

Would he really not see him for two weeks without so much as goodbye…?

Remus had disrobed completely and then dressed for sleep, and Sirius watched him climb into bed and draw the drapes; soon there was rustling of sheets, and finally silence.

He didn't know how long he'd lay there, listening to the distant sounds of night birds somewhere outside, and the old tower settling, the occasional movement of someone stirring in bed; he sat up very slowly and then rose from his bed. Silhouettes of the furniture lined the walls, outlined black in the darkness, he padded in his socks past Peter and James; whether Remus already was asleep or if he was just pretending, Sirius didn't know. Either way, he had made no sound while Sirius climbed into his bed, and no sound while he slid beneath the covers, and when his arm reached gradually around him.

Very tentatively, Sirius pressed his lips to the nape of Remus' neck, he kissed him so lightly he might not have felt it at all; " _I_ _miss_ _you,_ _Moony_ ," he mouthed. " _I_ _'_ _m_ _sorry,_ _I_ _never meant..."_

Whether or not Remus was asleep, he said nothing in return; Sirius stayed at his side till morning, and when he awoke, the bed was unmade and Moony already was gone.

\--

Perhaps the only nice thing about being back at number twelve, Grimmauld Place was Bellatrix's old stash of _Playwitch_ magazines; she had moved out when she married and her room was locked shut even after _alohomora_ , but Sirius had a knife for exactly occasions like these. It was underage magic, trying to spell the door open, but so were the permanent sticking charms he'd used for all the stuff on the walls up in his room; they were going to transfer him, anyway.

Much easier to get at Bella's stuff now, without the shouting and chases and items set flying in his wake; _I_ _'_ _ll_ _kill_ _you_ , she'd yell as she thundered after him, eyes wide and hands scrambling for her wand, while Sirius would dart to the end of the second story corridor. He would then jump out the window and onto the incline that led to the roof.

He sighed now while he lay on his bed with a stack of her old magazines, and regarded his various bikini-clad muggle women who smiled at him from the walls; he wondered if he shouldn't just date women for a while. _They were much less trouble, it seemed._

Still, the wizard in the _Playwitch_ centerfold made a convincing argument to the contrary, with his mostly-open quidditch robe and the quaffle that just barely obscured his cock, but didn't quite.

Sirius wondered what his best friends were doing. He wondered if James was left to prank old Snivelly all on his own; you'd think that lying in bed and looking at porn all day instead of being in class was ideal, but Sirius thought he'd rather be at Hogwarts any day.

It wasn't until his fourth night back home that he was stirred awake very late by a voice he'd detested as far back as he could remember.

"Get out of my room, Kreacher," Sirius slurred, face buried in his pillow, hair scattered, not having shaved in some time.

"As Master wishes," the bitter voice croaked, full of loathing; "However, following Master Regulus' orders, I've brought a visitor here who wished to see you."

_(On to Chapter 12)  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


	12. Chapter 12

It took a few moments for the words to sink in. _A visitor…? On Regulus' orders…?_ Sirius slowly turned in bed and reached for the sheets that were tangled partway around one of his legs; he still was quite disoriented from sleep, not entirely certain if he was awake or dreaming, and stared for a long while before he fully understood.

"Wha... Moony...?" he whispered, and Remus turned to thank Kreacher, who, mercifully, had not been informed that he was both half-blood and a _half-breed;_ on Kreacher's departure from the room he was heard subtly murmuring malicious things about Sirius.

"I can't see anything," Remus whispered, it was the first thing he'd said to him directly in a long time; Sirius, whose eyes were accustomed to the darkness, could see him well enough.

Remus was dressed in day clothes, but not his school uniform; after the confinement he’d been made to endure for the past days, Sirius thought that his arrival was certainly a sight for sore eyes, though he was unsure what to make of it. Had Moony forgiven him? What did it mean that he’d come on Regulus’ orders? Were James and Peter coming, too?

He scrambled out of bed and kicked uselessly at his tangle of sheets, and then reached toward Remus as to direct him in the dark; “Here, over here,” he whispered, Remus still was feeling blindly around the room while he followed his lead to the bed.

"Padfoot?" he asked, he sounded reluctant, audibly uncomfortable to have snuck in and to be at the House of Black.

"Bloody hell, Moony, what are you doing here?" Sirius asked, both his hands still clutching one of his.

"I—" Remus whispered, suddenly shy— like he’d forgot that he’d been angry, and became aware all at once that he was in Sirius' presence, and how despite everything this had got him timid in the most curious way.

"Regulus helped me come see you," he said; "I snuck out—"

"You snuck out? To see me? _Regulus helped…?"_

Just what was he playing at? Why would Regulus help Moony sneak out to see him…? Just with whom, Sirius wondered, did this mean that Remus' loyalties lay…?

He wasn’t sure where to begin, now that apparently they were on speaking terms again.

"Are you hungry? You thirsty? You need the toilet?"

Remus shook his head and murmured _No,_ it was apparent he had a hard time saying something; gradually he became accustomed to the darkness, he gazed at Sirius, then at the hands he had around his palm.

"Merlin, it's good to see you," Sirius whispered with a small laugh, it came innocent and honest; "I've been cooped up in here so long…"

He thought for a few moments, then gripped his hand tighter and whispered, "What about school? What about class tomorrow?"

"Your brother— asked Kreacher to take me back tomorrow morning; that is, this morning—" Remus said quietly, because it already was past midnight.

Sirius' first impulse was disappointment that he'd have to leave so soon; clearly this was some favor that Regulus did for Remus— but if the two of them were on kissing terms, then why…?

There was some acrid remark at the tip of his tongue about how _nice_ it was of Regulus to help him out, but he was learning self-restraint; he desperately wanted company and felt emotionally exhausted from their recent argument.

"I can't believe you’re really here," he whispered; "I'm really glad you came— _really glad—_ "

His hands traced Remus' cheeks and his mandible, then his neck, and he felt so vividly human and warm; "Yeah, me neither," came the reply. "Apparition… it's bloody mad, thought I'd be sick…"

Sirius laughed knowingly; _it felt so good to be in the company of his friend._ "Bollocks," he said, "apparating with Kreacher… that can't be fun, can it?"

Even if Kreacher had behaved properly, Sirius still didn't trust him; he was acting on Regulus orders, after all, and why Regulus would ask such a thing, he wasn't sure— but it likely had to do with the friendship he'd formed with Moony, and that certainly didn't sit right with Sirius.

"James— lent me his cloak, I've got it here—" Remus said, he patted the side of his jacket, and Sirius found he felt relieved to hear that James had a hand in this, too; he wondered why Prongs hadn't also come along, and whether it was because Kreacher couldn't apparate with more than one person or because _Remus wanted to be alone with him._

He wondered what it meant that Remus had accepted James' help; all in all, he wished that matters hadn't gotten so complicated that he'd even had to ask himself such a thing.

They sat in silence for some moments, both still a bit shaken in the aftermath of their quarrel, now that the dust had settled and all the things that transpired between them had time to sink in.

"I—" Sirius started, but Remus began speaking at the same time; they both paused, then both told each other to go ahead.

"I never— that is," Remus murmured, but then stopped himself; " _Never mind."_

"No, what were you gonna say?"

"Nothing, it's stupid."

"I want to know."

"Well— I was just gonna say— I was gonna tell you that I never actually kissed your brother—"

He sounded terribly shy, his voice had gone to a soft murmur; in the darkness, Sirius regarded him silently while the words sank in. There was tremendous relief; elaborate theories which he’d mentally constructed over the past days now dissolved like the remnants of a bad dream, but they had served their purpose. They had made him acutely aware that indeed he had been jealous.

The deep betrayal which had tormented him now swept him over like a light breeze, he felt that he’d known, _he'd known all along that Moony would never do such a thing, not his good friend Moony._

" _Oh, thank Merlin,"_ he stammered; " _wow, you have no idea— oh, come here, please tell me you’re not having a laugh."_

"No, I—" Remus said; "The bit with the kissing— that was only a rumor, we— we only hugged..."

Despite himself, Remus couldn't help a small bout of pleasure on hearing that he'd been jealous; Sirius had been most of the way to relief when he caught the last word, and he frowned at that.

"Why were you hugging?" he asked without thinking better of it, entirely oblivious to the contentment that his envy was causing Remus. "Come off it, Moony, just tell me outright— do you fancy him or not?"

He could make out Remus' expression in the dark room, where he was timidly smiling; "You daft sod," Remus chuckled shyly, "you really jealous over that?"

Sirius sputtered; "Yeah, I'm jealous over that! Just the thought of it, you lot with your arms around each other— _of all the stupid little…"_

"Feeling left out, are you?"

"But you don’t really, do you, Moony? You don’t really fancy him?"

Despite everything, a bit of humor between them had done them good.

"All right, all right," Remus said; "I don’t really fancy him, it’s not like that."

" _Oh, thank heavens— fucking hell, don’t do shit like that to me—_ you really mean it this time? You’re not having a laugh?"

"Yeah, I really mean it."

"Why were you lot hugging?"

"It was the natural thing to do, you know, after sex—"

" _Moony, you absolute cock—"_

They now were playfully wrestling on the mattress, where clearly Remus loved to tease him this way; Sirius was reminded of the way they had wrestled on the train on the way to Hogwarts when they were younger, he got Remus on his back and kissed him.

"I really am sorry," he said, it came brittle and humid against Remus’ lips; "I never meant to hurt you like I did, I care for you so much— I’ve felt crap ever since—"

For a long time, Remus didn’t speak; he regarded Sirius in the darkness, now that his features had become a little more visible, and traced his face with his fingertips. He was handsome without doubt, but also very familiar as the close friend he'd known for years; Remus felt exhausted with the burden of holding back his feelings for so long, there was a part of him which wanted desperately to put it to rest and just take comfort in him now.

His fingers slid over the stubble on Sirius' cheek and he laughed softly, "How long has it been since you’ve shaved?"

He'd meant to give a lighthearted chuckle, but it came with betraying emotion that came forth without his discretion, and he swiped stupidly at his eyes; Sirius frowned, he sat up in bed and got his arms around him, uncertain what it was about and what he'd managed to do this time to upset him.

" _Shh, Moony, what is it, what's the matter?"_

" _It's nothing— I’m— terribly daft— I’ll be all right in a moment—_ "

"Did something happen? Back at Hogwarts while I was away?"

"No— nothing like that, nothing new happened—"

"Is it to do with— you know— your _furry little problem?"_

"Oh, Padfoot, you're so bloody dense, aren't you?" Remus chuckled through his tears; "You really don’t understand— you don't even realize—"

"It's still about something I did? _I'm sorry, I told you— I don’t know what else I can say—_ "

"But that’s just it, isn't it? There's nothing you _can_ say. You genuinely don’t know—"

"No, I _don't_ know— how am I meant to know if you don’t even tell me?"

It was too embarrassing; Remus fought for the courage to tell him outright, at the cost of what little pride he had.

"Padfoot," Remus said with a visible attempt at gentleness, though his exasperation sounded through it; "I don't know how, or why it is— and, believe me, I wish it wasn't this way— but somehow, at some point, I kind of—"

_fell in love with you_

"You kind of what?"

" _Forget it."_

"No, I want to know!"

"This is so stupid,” Remus chuckled badly, he rolled his eyes and wished he wasn’t tearful, it was too humiliating; "Like— you’re one of my best friends, and I don’t even like blokes, I don't know what’s wrong with me—"

"Nothing wrong with liking blokes."

"That’s not the point—"

"Blokes can be quite fit."

" _Don’t change the subject."_

"You’re pretty fit, you look quite good tonight."

Remus flushed; somehow, Sirius had got him to smile. "Piss off," he said shyly, "you can't even see me right now."

"Can't I?"

At that, Sirius reached across the bed to the end table and took a moment to light the candles there; Remus gave a small gasp now that he had a proper look of that part of the room. He could see the numerous images mounted on the walls, of bikini-clad women and motorcycles, many of which had clearly come from muggle magazines.

He was taken off guard when Sirius' hands came on his cheeks, _he was beautiful in that moment,_ even if clearly he hadn’t shaved in days; "Yeah," Sirius said, "you definitely look good tonight."

He leaned in and kissed him with unearthly gentleness, he kissed his lips and his cheeks, and everywhere on his face where he’d got damp with tears; " _Stop that,"_ Remus shivered, " _Don't—_ "

At that, Sirius slowly drew away, a little hurt and frustrated and still confused; "Can't I kiss you?" he asked.

_Remus had loved it. He’d loved every bit of it, it made his heart melt._

But that was exactly it: something like this only made him fall harder, it was a gesture which likely came to Sirius second nature— everyone knew exactly how many people he had dated, of course he would know how to do things like this, which _felt_ like they came with earnest emotion.

"You can't do things like this," he swiped stupidly at his face; "I'm not like you, I don’t snog a lot of people, or go on dates, or tally up my accomplishments—"

"Bloody glad you don’t, after that bit with Regulus— _I like it much better that I don’t have to think of the lot of you kissing—_ "

" _Yes, exactly, you daft knobhead— and I'd have liked it much better if I didn’t have to think of you kissing everyone in the entire school."_

" _I've not— what are you on about?"_

But by then, he’d begun to understand; what to him had been a matter of personal achievement had struck Remus as something belittling.

"But that's different," he insisted, now trying partly to convince himself; "Regulus, he's my brother— and he's just awful all around—"

"Is that really all there is to it? If I'd have snogged someone else, would that be fine?"

Sirius looked up straight away; " _Snogging_ now, is it? Thought we were on about just light kissing, like a single kiss— and I thought you said you lot didn't—"

" _We didn't— stop trying to change the subject—_ "

"Look, Moony— I'm _sorry_ that— about— I'm not even sure what I’m sorry about, but I am, all right? I already told you, I've not kissed, or snogged, or touched anyone else since we've started dating, so I don't understand—"

Remus sighed; "You're right," he said sadly; "it isn't your fault, that's the worst bit. The fact is, I'm an idiot." He was idly playing with the golden bits of fringe at the edge of Sirius' duvet; "I somehow— for some reason— I somehow, sort of…"

He lifted his gaze to Sirius and then looked back down; "I'm in— that is _— in love— with you_ —"

In the low candlelight he appeared childlike somehow; his soft brown hair fell innocently over his eyes and obscured half his face, but he clearly was flushing. He wished Sirius would say something, anything at all, because even the seconds of silence between them had become crushing in their weight.

"But don’t let it go to your head," he finally added once he couldn’t bear it any longer; "it's not like—"

"Really?" Sirius asked; when Remus looked up, he noticed unexpectedly that he was a little flushed as well. _He was bloody smiling._

It somehow made Remus more embarrassed, and he rapidly looked away; "Forget it," he stammered, "I'm just being dumb—"

Sirius was tremendously flattered; "No," he said, "it's not dumb— Merlin, I thought you detested me—"

" _I fucking do."_

"Wha— _what have I done now?"_

" _You utter—_ don’t you see, Padfoot? I've just said that I lo— _that I loved you,_ and of course you’ve not said it back— but why would you? I’m the one who—"

"But I _do_ love you back."

"Wh— Sirius— _I mean like— romantic love—_ "

"Would I have you here in my room, on my bed, trying to figure out how to get you out of your clothes, if I didn’t think of you in a romantic way?"

Remus had gone beet red and forgot the rest of what he intended to say; "You…" he murmured, "you're… you’re really…"

Sirius leaned in and seized his mouth; "Am I free of your wrath now?" he asked, "Thought we were dating, weren't we?"

Remus was well pleased, this he could not deny; however, despite him the words came forth. "You’ve asked me out because Prongs told you to."

"That’s right," he said, "so the lot of you ought to be satisfied."

"But don’t you see! You’ve done it for him, it's _him_ you love."

Sirius regarded Remus closely where he had his hands on his face; he leaned in and gently tugged at his lower lip with his teeth, without removing his gaze from his eyes.

"I do love him," he said honestly; "and I love you. _You’re the one who doesn't see."_

_To be continued…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^


End file.
